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영작교정 게시판

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담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
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Homework

작성자: 김*우
2023-10-09 2125

회원님의 영작문

Hi.
Today was so hectic.
Right after our morning conference, I called the patient who caused a problem yesterday and told her that I won't any treatment for her from now.
She tried to persuade me to treat her again, but I rejected definately.
There was a hard case.
During the extraction of skin tumor, Dr. MJ encountered much bleeding that he couldn't handle alone.
Thus he called me urgently and we solved the problem together.
Also, there were too many patients who came to our clinic for the first time.
In addition, there were several traumatic patients who had bleeding, so I repaired the wounds.
Lastly, there was a psychotic client who wanted many aesthetic procedures under the sedative anesthesia.
She seemed to be very suspicious; we thought that she had no money and she was addictive for the anesthesia.
Consequently, we canceled all procedures and let her go out.
Anger always makes conflict and I know that very well.
If we stand the anger, it will bring us peace.
See you tomorrow.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello, Dr. Kim!

Maybe by now, your stress level maybe rocketing so it would be very good for you to get a good night sleep later. As the saying goes- when it rains it pours. What a bloody day! Your clinic was like in an Emergency Room (ER) today. I hope that the tumor was removed perfectly and that person did not lose a lot of blood.

There are very demanding and unreasonable patients lately. Most of them want more and more things such as more free treatments. Life may be so costly due to inflation and these treatments maybe out of their budget, yet, they insist of having more. Hence, when does a woman stop to have treatments and say that she is perfectly beautiful? The answer is never.

The psychotic patient wants to have a painless beauty which is close to impossible. By now, she knows that to be beautiful, she has to endure the procedures. If she is suspicious, she cannot be beautiful. ^^

Tolerance versus anger is a constant battle we face at work. Today was a test of maximum patience and  execution both in your parts with Dr. MJ. 

I salute you for being kind and gentle to your patients. No one can do that any better but you in your clinic. Stay calm, breathe, and let go of heavy situations.

Your correct sentence frequency is very high, the progression of your topics was smooth, and your message was crystal clear. Excellent work!

See you in class!

-T. Donna~

Hi.
>> Correct!

Today was so hectic.
>> Correct!

Right after our morning conference, I called the patient who caused a problem yesterday and told her that I won't any treatment for her from now.
>> Right after our morning conference, I called the patient who caused a problem yesterday and told her that I won't give any treatment to her from now on.

She tried to persuade me to treat her again, but I rejected definately.
>> Correct!
Or: definitely 

There was a hard case.
>> Correct!

During the extraction of skin tumor, Dr. MJ encountered much bleeding that he couldn't handle alone.
>> During the extraction of a skin tumor, Dr. MJ encountered much bleeding that he couldn't handle it alone.

Thus he called me urgently and we solved the problem together.
>> Correct!

Also, there were too many patients who came to our clinic for the first time.
>> Correct!

In addition, there were several traumatic patients who had bleeding, so I repaired the wounds.
>> Correct!

Lastly, there was a psychotic client who wanted many aesthetic procedures under the sedative anesthesia.
>> Correct!

She seemed to be very suspicious; we thought that she had no money and she was addictive for the anesthesia.
>> She seemed to be very suspicious; we thought that she had no money and she was addicted to anesthesia.

Consequently, we canceled all procedures and let her go out.
>> Correct!

Anger always makes conflict and I know that very well.
>>  Correct!

If we stand the anger, it will bring us peace.
>> If we can stand the anger, it will bring us peace.

See you tomorrow.
>> Correct!
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