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담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
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Soccer

작성자: 김*민
2023-10-09 2406

회원님의 영작문

At the morning because of soccer match that will happen in 9pm, the street was all cheering for our team, Korea. The match was the final match and the opposite team was Japan that we are rival with, people and also me were excited about the match. When the game start, after 1minute 20 second, Japan has the first goal, and it was frustrating because the goal happened so fast. However, after 26 minute, Korea had the goal and the score become same. i can see that Korea was leading the game however, even tough there is a chance to have a goal, our team members cannot connect it to a goal. After the half time, Korea was passing the ball with heading nearby Japan's goal post, Than, Cho y u have the goal and we started to lead Japan with 2 score. Than the game was over and we win the asian game and we had gold medal. It was to happy to be winning the game and the player seems to be happy to. It was a fun and thrilling match

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Good day, Chan Mi! I really appreciate your time and effort for making your composition. It is good to know that you are interested in sports. Congratulations to the Korean soccer tea on winning the gold medal. I hope to talk more with you next time. Take care! ~T. Lyn
At the morning because of soccer match that will happen in 9pm, the street was all cheering for our team, Korea. 
>>From the morning, the streets were filled with cheering for out team, Korea, due to the soccer game scheduled at 9 p.m.
The match was the final match and the opposite team was Japan that we are rival with, people and also me were excited about the match. 
>>The game was the final, and the opposing team was our rival, Japan, and people and I were interested in this match.
When the game start, after 1minute 20 second, Japan has the first goal, and it was frustrating because the goal happened so fast.
>>1 minute and 20 seconds after the game started, Japan scored the first goal, it was frustrating because they scored right away.
However, after 26 minute, Korea had the goal and the score become same.
>>However, after 26 minutes, Korea scored and the score was tied.
i can see that Korea was leading the game however, even tough there is a chance to have a goal, our team members cannot connect it to a goal. 
>>It looks like Korea is leading, but even if there is a change in scoring, our teammates are unable to convert it into goals.
After the half time, Korea was passing the ball with heading nearby Japan's goal post, Than, Cho y u have the goal and we started to lead Japan with 2 score.
>>At the end of the first half, Korea passed the ball with a header near the Japanese goal, and Cho Yu then scored to leave Japan with two points.
Than the game was over and we win the asian game and we had gold medal.
>>The competition ended with the team winning a gold medal at the Asian Games.
It was to happy to be winning the game and the player seems to be happy to.
>>I was very happy to win the game and the players seemed happy too.
 It was a fun and thrilling match
>>It was a fun and thrilling game.
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