¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

today\'s homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*µµ
2023-10-03 1742

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

ESSAY: As the number of cars increases, more money has to be spent on road systems. Some people think the government should pay for this. Others, however, think that drivers should cover the costs. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people say that road systems should be pay by goverment. They require better systems and increasing traffical industry. and believe these are helpful country's success. But another people scold them. they say that spending money for road are foolish thinking. Also, they agree with other argument that car industry helps our life. But it isn't reationship with car and road. They just think road are method to connect city and city. They think that it don't mean. So, they think that waste thier money.
I think that road systems are needed. these are quiet important. If we don't fix road, our industry will be freeze. The flow will not be correct. At result our country will go bankrup.
We always search better road system.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there Lee! Wow! I was surprised with your essay. It's a bit longer this time. Keep it up. 
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
Some people say that road systems should be pay by goverment. 
>>> Some people say that road systems should be paid by the government
They require better systems and increase traffic industry.
>>> CORRECT
 and believe these are helpful country's success. 
>>> And they believe these could be helpful to the country's success. 
But another people scold them. they say that spending money for road are foolish thinking. 
>>But another people scold them. They say that spending money for road are foolish ideas. 
Also, they agree with other argument that car industry helps our life. 
>>> CORRECT
But it isn't reationship with car and road. 
>>> But it is not related to cars and roads. 
They just think road are method to connect city and city. 
>>> They just think that highways are just for connecting cities. 
They think that it don't mean.
>>> They don't think it's meaningful. 
 So, they think that waste thier money.
>>> So, they think it's a waste of money.
I think that road systems are needed.
>>> CORRECT
OR>>I think that road systems are necessary.
These are quiet important. 
>>> CORRECT
If we don't fix road, our industry will be freeze. 
>>> If we won't fix our roads, our industry will be frozen. 
The flow will not be corrected. 
>>> CORRECT
At result our country will go bankrupt.
>>> As a result, our country will go bankrupt.
We always search better road system.
>>> We always search for better road system.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
129210 What are you most passionate about? Why? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-07-01 2396
129209 Why is drunk driving a grave offense? ¾ö*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-01 2513
129208 Would you compromise with a criminal if your life or your... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-07-01 4
129207 Can you correct my sentence? ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-01 2
129206 What are the social activities we could never live without? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-01 1
129205 homework 06.30 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-06-30 3403
129204 My favorite accessories! ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-06-30 1985
129203 Recent interest ÇÏ*ÇØ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-30 6
129202 Where dres o you want to celebrate your next birthday? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-06-30 3817
129201 School trip! ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-06-30 1841
129200 Describe the experience of falling in love. ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-06-30 2556
129199 What is the reason for Korea\'s decision to change its age... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-06-30 0
129198 What would motivate you to continue working out? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-30 1754
129197 What can transform your business to a higher level? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-30 2601
129196 What do you tell someone who lends you something? How about... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-30 2100
129195 How can you make your weekend productive? ¹Ý* ¿Ï·á 2023-06-30 2907
129194 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-06-30 1966
129193 If you could create a tourism slogan for your country, what... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-30 2961
129192 Writing task ¾È*Çü ¿Ï·á 2023-06-30 3033
129191 Give one way/ technique to be better in your understanding/... ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-30 4914

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04