¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

today\'s homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*µµ
2023-10-03 834

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

ESSAY: As the number of cars increases, more money has to be spent on road systems. Some people think the government should pay for this. Others, however, think that drivers should cover the costs. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people say that road systems should be pay by goverment. They require better systems and increasing traffical industry. and believe these are helpful country's success. But another people scold them. they say that spending money for road are foolish thinking. Also, they agree with other argument that car industry helps our life. But it isn't reationship with car and road. They just think road are method to connect city and city. They think that it don't mean. So, they think that waste thier money.
I think that road systems are needed. these are quiet important. If we don't fix road, our industry will be freeze. The flow will not be correct. At result our country will go bankrup.
We always search better road system.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there Lee! Wow! I was surprised with your essay. It's a bit longer this time. Keep it up. 
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
Some people say that road systems should be pay by goverment. 
>>> Some people say that road systems should be paid by the government
They require better systems and increase traffic industry.
>>> CORRECT
 and believe these are helpful country's success. 
>>> And they believe these could be helpful to the country's success. 
But another people scold them. they say that spending money for road are foolish thinking. 
>>But another people scold them. They say that spending money for road are foolish ideas. 
Also, they agree with other argument that car industry helps our life. 
>>> CORRECT
But it isn't reationship with car and road. 
>>> But it is not related to cars and roads. 
They just think road are method to connect city and city. 
>>> They just think that highways are just for connecting cities. 
They think that it don't mean.
>>> They don't think it's meaningful. 
 So, they think that waste thier money.
>>> So, they think it's a waste of money.
I think that road systems are needed.
>>> CORRECT
OR>>I think that road systems are necessary.
These are quiet important. 
>>> CORRECT
If we don't fix road, our industry will be freeze. 
>>> If we won't fix our roads, our industry will be frozen. 
The flow will not be corrected. 
>>> CORRECT
At result our country will go bankrupt.
>>> As a result, our country will go bankrupt.
We always search better road system.
>>> We always search for better road system.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
130144 News spread quickly, and at the same time, various rumors and... À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-08-11 896
130143 Myhomework Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2023-08-11 906
130142 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-11 1037
130141 Are there times when jokes are bad and should not be told? ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-08-11 1335
130140 Homework : Which part of your apartment do you not like most? ÃÖ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2023-08-11 1430
130139 What i\'am afraid of È«*±â ¿Ï·á 2023-08-11 2023
130138 What other investments are popular for people your age in South... ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-11 979
130137 Writing task ¾È*Çü ¿Ï·á 2023-08-11 1117
130136 Homework : When do you see yourself being competitive? ÃÖ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2023-08-11 650
130135 Homework : Which place do you prefer to live in, Busan or Gimpo?... ÃÖ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2023-08-11 1432
130134 Homework JA*UNG CHUNG ¿Ï·á 2023-08-11 830
130133 The beauty standards in Korea ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-11 1406
130132 How to keep a friend ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-11 1202
130131 How do I value my friends ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-11 1009
130130 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-11 797
130129 Bertrand Russell said: \"War does not determine who is right -... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-08-11 2
130128 Is life a good adventure? ±Ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-08-10 0
130127 Homework ¼Û*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-10 954
130126 Which country, aside from your country has the best food? º¹*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-10 1
130125 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-10 2021

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04