¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

today\'s homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*µµ
2023-10-03 731

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

ESSAY: As the number of cars increases, more money has to be spent on road systems. Some people think the government should pay for this. Others, however, think that drivers should cover the costs. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people say that road systems should be pay by goverment. They require better systems and increasing traffical industry. and believe these are helpful country's success. But another people scold them. they say that spending money for road are foolish thinking. Also, they agree with other argument that car industry helps our life. But it isn't reationship with car and road. They just think road are method to connect city and city. They think that it don't mean. So, they think that waste thier money.
I think that road systems are needed. these are quiet important. If we don't fix road, our industry will be freeze. The flow will not be correct. At result our country will go bankrup.
We always search better road system.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there Lee! Wow! I was surprised with your essay. It's a bit longer this time. Keep it up. 
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
Some people say that road systems should be pay by goverment. 
>>> Some people say that road systems should be paid by the government
They require better systems and increase traffic industry.
>>> CORRECT
 and believe these are helpful country's success. 
>>> And they believe these could be helpful to the country's success. 
But another people scold them. they say that spending money for road are foolish thinking. 
>>But another people scold them. They say that spending money for road are foolish ideas. 
Also, they agree with other argument that car industry helps our life. 
>>> CORRECT
But it isn't reationship with car and road. 
>>> But it is not related to cars and roads. 
They just think road are method to connect city and city. 
>>> They just think that highways are just for connecting cities. 
They think that it don't mean.
>>> They don't think it's meaningful. 
 So, they think that waste thier money.
>>> So, they think it's a waste of money.
I think that road systems are needed.
>>> CORRECT
OR>>I think that road systems are necessary.
These are quiet important. 
>>> CORRECT
If we don't fix road, our industry will be freeze. 
>>> If we won't fix our roads, our industry will be frozen. 
The flow will not be corrected. 
>>> CORRECT
At result our country will go bankrupt.
>>> As a result, our country will go bankrupt.
We always search better road system.
>>> We always search for better road system.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
131625 trust ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-13 3
131624 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-12 1264
131623 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-10-12 0
131622 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-10-12 0
131621 What\'s your thought on Korean cuisine? Do you think it\'s... ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-12 2
131620 homework 10.12 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-10-12 793
131619 Would you trust AI in terms of security? How reliable and... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-10-12 1
131618 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-12 2
131617 Home work ±è*¶õ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-12 2
131616 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-12 754
131615 Homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2023-10-12 0
131614 What do you think Mark Twain meant when he said, ¡°Never let... ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-10-12 0
131613 Nothing is fixed °­*À² ¿Ï·á 2023-10-12 2
131612 What is your favorite park and why? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-10-12 1101
131611 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about ¡°Name a fairy... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-10-12 2
131610 What are the most common causes of certain diseases? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-10-12 762
131609 WRITING TASK: If they made a movie about your life, what kind of... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-10-12 6
131608 Why is honesty so difficult at times? ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-12 3
131607 Who is always there to help you? ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-10-12 1075
131606 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-10-12 1223

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04