¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

today\'s homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*µµ
2023-10-03 804

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

ESSAY: As the number of cars increases, more money has to be spent on road systems. Some people think the government should pay for this. Others, however, think that drivers should cover the costs. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people say that road systems should be pay by goverment. They require better systems and increasing traffical industry. and believe these are helpful country's success. But another people scold them. they say that spending money for road are foolish thinking. Also, they agree with other argument that car industry helps our life. But it isn't reationship with car and road. They just think road are method to connect city and city. They think that it don't mean. So, they think that waste thier money.
I think that road systems are needed. these are quiet important. If we don't fix road, our industry will be freeze. The flow will not be correct. At result our country will go bankrup.
We always search better road system.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there Lee! Wow! I was surprised with your essay. It's a bit longer this time. Keep it up. 
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
Some people say that road systems should be pay by goverment. 
>>> Some people say that road systems should be paid by the government
They require better systems and increase traffic industry.
>>> CORRECT
 and believe these are helpful country's success. 
>>> And they believe these could be helpful to the country's success. 
But another people scold them. they say that spending money for road are foolish thinking. 
>>But another people scold them. They say that spending money for road are foolish ideas. 
Also, they agree with other argument that car industry helps our life. 
>>> CORRECT
But it isn't reationship with car and road. 
>>> But it is not related to cars and roads. 
They just think road are method to connect city and city. 
>>> They just think that highways are just for connecting cities. 
They think that it don't mean.
>>> They don't think it's meaningful. 
 So, they think that waste thier money.
>>> So, they think it's a waste of money.
I think that road systems are needed.
>>> CORRECT
OR>>I think that road systems are necessary.
These are quiet important. 
>>> CORRECT
If we don't fix road, our industry will be freeze. 
>>> If we won't fix our roads, our industry will be frozen. 
The flow will not be corrected. 
>>> CORRECT
At result our country will go bankrupt.
>>> As a result, our country will go bankrupt.
We always search better road system.
>>> We always search for better road system.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
132400 What\'s an accomplishment that may seem small to others but... ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-11-14 1904
132399 something that I borrowed from someone. ÃÖ*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-14 1143
132398 Share information about something that brings you joy. ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-11-13 2
132397 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-13 2
132396 In the age of technology, do you think we\'re better or worse at... ÀÌ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2023-11-13 1180
132395 Organization ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-11-13 860
132394 Have you ever been to the zoo? What did you see and hear? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-13 0
132393 homework 11.13 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-11-13 1323
132392 homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-13 1154
132391 Do you see yourself living abroad permanently? ÀÌ*¼Ö ¿Ï·á 2023-11-13 903
132390 What would you like your government to spend more money on... ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-13 1
132389 Homework È«*¼± ¿Ï·á 2023-11-13 2
132388 homework Á¤*¾È ¿Ï·á 2023-11-13 0
132387 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about ¡°Do you want to... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-11-13 1
132386 homework_1113 ÇÑ*·Ï ¿Ï·á 2023-11-13 650
132385 My pronunciation problems ¹Ú*À² ¿Ï·á 2023-11-13 833
132384 Homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2023-11-13 0
132383 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-13 0
132382 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-13 0
132381 What\'s the most important thing to do to handle and accept... ÀÌ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2023-11-13 1001

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04