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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

There are many researches shows that both working style can lead to increase efficiency.

작성자: 문*현
2023-10-03 1936

회원님의 영작문

Flexibility is definitely an advantage for both working options. Employees can balance their personal times and working hours. There are many researches show that both working styles can lead to increased efficiency. For example, decreased commuting time can help employees to invest in self-development and stress relief. It takes me an hour and a half to prepare and commute to the office and I feel get drowsy after having lunch. Therefore, I try to invest in the time to take a rest or study topics related to work when I am not at the office. On the other hand, there is an evident disadvantage; too many distractions. Many offices are designed to increase workers' concentration for more productivity. However, there are too many obstacles that will deter employees from concentrating fully on work. For instance, I need to take care of my dog when working from home. While in the office, I usually take into the daycare so less attention is required so I can invest that time to work.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Thanks for this Aciel! 

Flexibility is definitely an advantage for both working options. 
>>> correct
Employees can balance their personal times and working hours. 
>>> correct
There are many researches show that both working styles can lead to increased efficiency. 
>>> There are many researches  that  show both working styles can lead to increased efficiency. 
For example, decreased commuting time can help employees to invest in self-development and stress relief. 
>>> correct
It takes me an hour and a half to prepare and commute to the office and I feel get drowsy after having lunch. 
>>> It takes me an hour and a half to prepare and commute to the office and I feel I get drowsy after having lunch. 
>>> OR: It takes me an hour and a half to prepare and commute to the office and I feel like dozing off after having lunch. 
Therefore, I try to invest in the time to take a rest or study topics related to work when I am not at the office. 
>>> correct
On the other hand, there is an evident disadvantage; too many distractions. 
>>> correct
Many offices are designed to increase workers' concentration for more productivity. 
>>> correct
However, there are too many obstacles that will deter employees from concentrating fully on work. 
>>> correct
For instance, I need to take care of my dog when working from home. 
>>> correct
While in the office, I usually take into the daycare so less attention is required so I can invest that time to work.
>>> While in the office, I usually take it to the daycare so less attention is required and I can invest that time to work.
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