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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Homework

작성자: 김*우
2023-10-02 718

회원님의 영작문

Hello, T. Donna.
How was your day?
Regarding my clinic, it was more hectic than yesterday.
We made a new record about patient's number in the morning.
Dr. MJ and I saw 90 patients for only three hours.
Can you imagine?
Fortunately, there were not too many patients this afternoon, so it saved my life.
I got tired easily today, maybe that's because of long holiday syndrome.
My wife is sick all day; fever, rhinorrhea, and myalgia.
After last annual check-up, we both have known that we had a high HbA1c, and it means it's possible to progress to diabetes soon.
We have to be cautious about our health.
Of course, you too.
About my homework, it was more funny when I was young in Chuseok.
I could meet many cousins and relatives.
Some of them played games with me all day, and others gave me some money to encourage me.
I think that traditional long holiday is more pleasent for kids than for adults.
All they have to do are to play, eat, and get some money.
How about your country?
See you tomorrow.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello there, Dr. Kim!

I cleaned my ceiling yesterday and I will today as well. I get a natural high when I clean my house, I feel like I'm in cloud nine. Anyway, I cannot say that you feel the same way about your tasks in your clinic. However, I surmise that Dr. MJ love the influx of your patients and clients there. The number you stated below is unimaginable and is definitely showing a very strong sign of profit.

As you age, your energy may not be the same, yet, keeping up with Dr. MJ means you have to work on the same pace. It is a reality you need to contend with inevitably.

Meanwhile, I hope and wish that your wife will feel better as soon as she can. When a mother is sick, she still needs to work since no one can do the chores she does. In addition, since you have family genes of diabetes, as you know it, watching your diet is a must along with your three daughters. Well, nowadays, I am also doing my best to tell my son to take it easy with soda, dessert, among many other sweets especially rice but sometimes to no avail. The point is to live healthier as we age. 

I agree that family gatherings during holidays were best spent in our younger years. All we have to do is to play, eat, receive gifts, and be merry. Now, we need to prepare for meals, spend money, drive long distances, and make sure that everyone around is having fun.

Nonetheless, I wish that all of your next family gatherings will be more fun and full or warmth and laughter. 

You have very minimal grammar suggestions. Study the sentences well below. Congratulations on an excellently written essay!

See you later.

-T. Donna~

Hello, T. Donna.
>> Correct!

How was your day?
>> Correct!

Regarding my clinic, it was more hectic than yesterday.
>> Correct!

We made a new record about patient's number in the morning.
>> Correct!
Or: We made a new record about our patient's number in the morning.

Dr. MJ and I saw 90 patients for only three hours.
>> Correct!

Can you imagine?
>> Correct!

Fortunately, there were not too many patients this afternoon, so it saved my life.
>> Correct!

I got tired easily today, maybe that's because of long holiday syndrome.
>> Correct!
Or: I got tired easily today, maybe that's because of the long holiday syndrome.

My wife is sick all day; fever, rhinorrhea, and myalgia.
>> Correct!

After last annual check-up, we both have known that we had a high HbA1c, and it means it's possible to progress to diabetes soon.
>> After the last annual check-up, we both have known that we had a high HbA1c, and it means it's possible to progress to diabetes soon.

We have to be cautious about our health.
>> Correct!

Of course, you too.
>> Correct!

About my homework, it was more funny when I was young in Chuseok.
>> About my homework, it was more fun when I was young in Chuseok.

I could meet many cousins and relatives.
>> Correct!

Some of them played games with me all day, and others gave me some money to encourage me.
>> Correct! 

I think that traditional long holiday is more pleasent for kids than for adults.
>> Correct! Very good sentence!

All they have to do are to play, eat, and get some money.
>> Correct!

How about your country?
>> Correct!

See you tomorrow.
>> Correct!
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