¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Á¤*ȯ
2023-10-02 1019

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I can not say exactly when and what my favorite holiday is..
Anyway I really enjoy spending my all of time alone in coffee shop.
That is my great and favorite holiday even though it is just a day.
I usually talk too much with customers and serve them.
So I need time to recharge myself in coffee shop during the holiday.

And there are many logo contests everyday.
I like making ideas and drawing logoes for the contests.
Finally I join it and submitt the logo.
I got win three times .

I like to have my time alone and draw logoes.
That is my favorite holiday.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Han!
Thank you for writing. Reading your composition is really interesting as it talks sincerely about you. It's nice to know that you have that kind of hobby to recharge yourself after your busy days at work. And people need to find the activities that they would love doing to balance work and life. Have a great one!~
-Chammy
I can not say exactly when and what my favorite holiday is..
>>I cannot say exactly when and what my favorite holiday is...
Anyway I really enjoy spending my all of time alone in coffee shop.

>> Anyway, I really enjoy spending all of my time alone in a coffee shop.

That is my great and favorite holiday even though it is just a day.
>>Correct
I usually talk too much with customers and serve them.
>>Correct
So I need time to recharge myself in coffee shop during the holiday.
>> So I need time to recharge myself in a coffee shop during the holiday.
And there are many logo contests everyday.

>>And there are many logo contests every day

I like making ideas and drawing logoes for the contests.
>> I like making ideas and drawing logos for the contests.

Finally I join it and submitt the logo.

>> Finally, I joined and submitted the logo.

I got win three times .
>> I won three times
I like to have my time alone and draw logoes.

>> I like to have my time alone and draw logos.

That is my favorite holiday.
>>Correct
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
132615 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-21 2
132614 Career change ÀÌ*¼Ö ¿Ï·á 2023-11-21 1391
132613 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-21 0
132612 Does homework help kids learn? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-21 2395
132611 Are you the type of person who plans everything? ±Ç*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-11-21 1299
132610 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-21 1515
132609 Homework ÀÌ*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-21 1384
132608 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about \"Is it healthy... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-11-21 1
132607 Homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2023-11-21 0
132606 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-21 1740
132605 Homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2023-11-21 0
132604 Homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2023-11-21 1
132603 A memorable day ÀÌ*¼º ¿Ï·á 2023-11-21 1
132602 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-21 1710
132601 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-21 2078
132600 WRITING TASK: What is the most famous organization in your... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-11-21 3
132599 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-21 1461
132598 the importance of effective communication ÀÓ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-11-21 1747
132597 I am under the weather ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-21 1
132596 I am under the weather ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-21 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04