¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Á¤*ȯ
2023-10-02 428

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I can not say exactly when and what my favorite holiday is..
Anyway I really enjoy spending my all of time alone in coffee shop.
That is my great and favorite holiday even though it is just a day.
I usually talk too much with customers and serve them.
So I need time to recharge myself in coffee shop during the holiday.

And there are many logo contests everyday.
I like making ideas and drawing logoes for the contests.
Finally I join it and submitt the logo.
I got win three times .

I like to have my time alone and draw logoes.
That is my favorite holiday.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Han!
Thank you for writing. Reading your composition is really interesting as it talks sincerely about you. It's nice to know that you have that kind of hobby to recharge yourself after your busy days at work. And people need to find the activities that they would love doing to balance work and life. Have a great one!~
-Chammy
I can not say exactly when and what my favorite holiday is..
>>I cannot say exactly when and what my favorite holiday is...
Anyway I really enjoy spending my all of time alone in coffee shop.

>> Anyway, I really enjoy spending all of my time alone in a coffee shop.

That is my great and favorite holiday even though it is just a day.
>>Correct
I usually talk too much with customers and serve them.
>>Correct
So I need time to recharge myself in coffee shop during the holiday.
>> So I need time to recharge myself in a coffee shop during the holiday.
And there are many logo contests everyday.

>>And there are many logo contests every day

I like making ideas and drawing logoes for the contests.
>> I like making ideas and drawing logos for the contests.

Finally I join it and submitt the logo.

>> Finally, I joined and submitted the logo.

I got win three times .
>> I won three times
I like to have my time alone and draw logoes.

>> I like to have my time alone and draw logos.

That is my favorite holiday.
>>Correct
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
131204 Do you prefer ordering food in person, by phone, or online? Á¤*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-09-21 704
131203 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-21 616
131202 WRITING TASK: What are some reasons why people might not meet... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-09-21 1
131201 Homework ±è*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-21 495
131200 sex education ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-21 619
131199 What food from other countries would you like to try? ·ù*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-09-21 3
131198 About silent spring. ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-09-21 689
131197 Have you ever visited a national park or wildlife sanctuary?... ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-09-21 741
131196 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-09-21 592
131195 What\"s your favorite about your home country? ±è*¼ø ¿Ï·á 2023-09-20 760
131194 Monday Homework ÃÖ*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-09-20 1
131193 Homework Àü*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-20 1
131192 Do you wish you could exercise more? ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-09-20 1
131191 How do you think current wars could be stopped? ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-09-20 2
131190 Homework Àå*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-20 1
131189 What are some of the most polluted cities in the world? ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-09-20 1
131188 Which family holiday is you favorite? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-09-20 320
131187 Call ÀÌ*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-20 461
131186 homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-20 562
131185 Which school subject is least favorite why? ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-09-20 849

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04