¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Unsure future plan

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*ȯ
2023-10-01 1218

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

We always make a future plan even if ensure what will happen. Because we don't know the future. If we knew the future we wouldn't need to make a plan. The plan includes our goals, dreams and hope. We can make and decide our future with the plan.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there, Thomas! How was your trip?

No one has truly seen the future. Thus, creating plans and goals serve as a map or a compass to guide us towards the path of our dreams. Somehow, we need to be flexible with our steps in achieving our aspirations but we have to stick to our dreams so we can measure our actions and eventually reach success.

I wish you all the best to your future plans.

Below, the grammar suggestions have been made to your sentences. Avoid being redundant in your ideas. You can read through the rest of the comments. Well done!

I will see you soon.

-T. Donna~

We always make a future plan even if ensure what will happen. 
>> We always make a future plan even if  we are unsure what will happen. 

Because we don't know the future. If we knew the future we wouldn't need to make a plan.
>>   If we knew the future we wouldn't need to make a plan.

The plan includes our goals, dreams and hope. 
>> Correct!

We can make and decide our future with the plan.
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
131831 homwork ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-23 1
131830 What does the phrase \"follow your heart\" mean? ÀÌ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2023-10-23 1487
131829 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-10-23 1497
131828 homework Á¤*¾È ¿Ï·á 2023-10-22 2
131827 HOMEWORK - 231020 ¾ç*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2023-10-22 1
131826 For being healthy °­*À² ¿Ï·á 2023-10-22 3
131825 Letter ±Ç*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-22 3
131824 Diary ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-22 0
131823 home work. ¾È*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-22 1331
131822 What would you do if you won the lottery? Would your life change... ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-10-22 1
131821 Homework ÀÌ*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-21 1147
131820 What device do you think is the most useful 10 years from now?... ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-21 1
131819 Homework Á¤*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-21 1511
131818 What fruit makes you happy? Why? ÃÖ*ÇÑ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-21 1543
131817 What would you like to change about the education system of your... Á¤*¸² ¿Ï·á 2023-10-21 2131
131816 Some people have suggested that helping needy people is an... Á¤*¸² ¿Ï·á 2023-10-21 1016
131815 homework_231020 ÇÑ*·Ï ¿Ï·á 2023-10-21 1501
131814 Do you ever think that some music is just noise? Á¤*¸² ¿Ï·á 2023-10-21 1363
131813 Expectations from the class and from teacher. ¹Ú*À² ¿Ï·á 2023-10-21 1313
131812 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-20 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04