¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Unsure future plan

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*ȯ
2023-10-01 707

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

We always make a future plan even if ensure what will happen. Because we don't know the future. If we knew the future we wouldn't need to make a plan. The plan includes our goals, dreams and hope. We can make and decide our future with the plan.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there, Thomas! How was your trip?

No one has truly seen the future. Thus, creating plans and goals serve as a map or a compass to guide us towards the path of our dreams. Somehow, we need to be flexible with our steps in achieving our aspirations but we have to stick to our dreams so we can measure our actions and eventually reach success.

I wish you all the best to your future plans.

Below, the grammar suggestions have been made to your sentences. Avoid being redundant in your ideas. You can read through the rest of the comments. Well done!

I will see you soon.

-T. Donna~

We always make a future plan even if ensure what will happen. 
>> We always make a future plan even if  we are unsure what will happen. 

Because we don't know the future. If we knew the future we wouldn't need to make a plan.
>>   If we knew the future we wouldn't need to make a plan.

The plan includes our goals, dreams and hope. 
>> Correct!

We can make and decide our future with the plan.
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
133556 I don\'t know. À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-01-01 703
133555 I wouldn\'t want it. À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-01-01 618
133554 >> How much do you value your privacy? ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-01-01 2
133553 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-01-01 155
133552 Apologies ¿°*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-01 3
133551 Gadgets ¿°*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-01 2
133550 Job ¿°*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-01 3
133549 What¡¯s the latest news? ±Ç*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-31 1
133548 What are your thoughts on Memorial Day as a holiday? Is this... ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-31 2
133547 My New Year\\\'s Resolution ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-12-31 3
133546 What are you grateful for this year? À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-12-31 0
133545 HOMEWORK FOR 12.29.2023 WRITING TASK: Do you like stretching?... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-12-31 3
133544 HOMEWORK FOR 12.28.2023 WRITING TASK: What don\'t you like about... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-12-31 5
133543 homework ¹Ú*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-12-30 731
133542 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about \"Is it important... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-12-30 0
133541 How do you celebrate the New Year in your country? ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-12-30 0
133540 Are there any specific activities or events in your community... ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-12-30 919
133539 What are the benefits of having constant communication with your... ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-12-29 625
133538 Homework ±è*´ã ¿Ï·á 2023-12-29 988
133537 What¡¯s better to have, great imagination or lots of knowledge? À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-12-29 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04