¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Unsure future plan

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*ȯ
2023-10-01 716

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

We always make a future plan even if ensure what will happen. Because we don't know the future. If we knew the future we wouldn't need to make a plan. The plan includes our goals, dreams and hope. We can make and decide our future with the plan.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there, Thomas! How was your trip?

No one has truly seen the future. Thus, creating plans and goals serve as a map or a compass to guide us towards the path of our dreams. Somehow, we need to be flexible with our steps in achieving our aspirations but we have to stick to our dreams so we can measure our actions and eventually reach success.

I wish you all the best to your future plans.

Below, the grammar suggestions have been made to your sentences. Avoid being redundant in your ideas. You can read through the rest of the comments. Well done!

I will see you soon.

-T. Donna~

We always make a future plan even if ensure what will happen. 
>> We always make a future plan even if  we are unsure what will happen. 

Because we don't know the future. If we knew the future we wouldn't need to make a plan.
>>   If we knew the future we wouldn't need to make a plan.

The plan includes our goals, dreams and hope. 
>> Correct!

We can make and decide our future with the plan.
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
133702 Homework À±*¼± ¿Ï·á 2024-01-07 691
133701 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-01-07 279
133700 Business trip ¿°*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-07 3
133699 borrowing and landing ¿°*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-07 3
133698 Tourism slogan ¿°*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-07 3
133697 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-01-06 0
133696 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-01-06 0
133695 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-01-06 0
133694 Which city do you want to live in? ÃÖ*ÇÑ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-06 540
133693 Today\'s homework ÀÌ*µµ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-06 822
133692 What is your favorite foreign food? How is it different from... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2024-01-06 846
133691 Homework ±è*´ã ¿Ï·á 2024-01-06 476
133690 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-06 1
133689 Do you ever buy things and then think it was a mistake? ±è*¼ø ¿Ï·á 2024-01-05 540
133688 What makes your family special? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-01-05 677
133687 Keeping in touch with our loved ones ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-01-05 540
133686 Filling in blanks ±è*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-01-05 441
133685 Free writing ±è*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-01-05 720
133684 homework 01.05 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2024-01-05 703
133683 homework ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-01-05 395

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04