¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

today\'s homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*µµ
2023-09-26 490

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

ESSAY: In many countries, children are becoming overweight and unhealthy. Some people think that the government has the responsibility to solve this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

I think that government has not responsibility this problem.
They have responsivilty themselves about overweight and unhealthy problems.
Recently most of countries in the world have private free.
In their countries people can do everything. They can spend their money and eat everything.
But the problems of free have themselves. There are not the thing that they blame their problem.
In my opinion, These are entirely matter of themselves.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there Lee! Happy Holidays to you! I hope your Thanksgiving is filled to the brim with gratitude, love, and happiness. Have a wonderful long weekend. I hope you'll have a good time with your favorite people and plenty of memories!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
I think that government has not responsibility this problem.
>>> I think the government is not responsible for this problem. 
They have responsivilty themselves about overweight and unhealthy problems.
>>> Overweight and health issues are individuals' concerns. 
Recently most of countries in the world have private free.
>>> Recently, most of countries in the world have freedom about anything. 
In their countries people can do everything. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
They can spend their money and eat everything.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
But the problems of free have themselves. 
>>> But the problem is people tend to abuse their freedom. 
There are not the thing that they blame their problem.
>>> So they shouldn't blame others for having such problems. 
In my opinion, These are entirely matter of themselves.
>>> In my opinion, these should entirely be a concern of themselves.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
132401 13.Nov.2023 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-14 1
132400 What\'s an accomplishment that may seem small to others but... ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-11-14 1925
132399 something that I borrowed from someone. ÃÖ*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-14 1162
132398 Share information about something that brings you joy. ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-11-13 2
132397 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-13 2
132396 In the age of technology, do you think we\'re better or worse at... ÀÌ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2023-11-13 1189
132395 Organization ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-11-13 880
132394 Have you ever been to the zoo? What did you see and hear? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-13 0
132393 homework 11.13 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-11-13 1344
132392 homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-13 1154
132391 Do you see yourself living abroad permanently? ÀÌ*¼Ö ¿Ï·á 2023-11-13 913
132390 What would you like your government to spend more money on... ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-13 1
132389 Homework È«*¼± ¿Ï·á 2023-11-13 2
132388 homework Á¤*¾È ¿Ï·á 2023-11-13 0
132387 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about ¡°Do you want to... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-11-13 1
132386 homework_1113 ÇÑ*·Ï ¿Ï·á 2023-11-13 671
132385 My pronunciation problems ¹Ú*À² ¿Ï·á 2023-11-13 853
132384 Homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2023-11-13 0
132383 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-13 0
132382 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-13 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04