¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

today\'s homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*µµ
2023-09-26 1462

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

ESSAY: In many countries, children are becoming overweight and unhealthy. Some people think that the government has the responsibility to solve this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

I think that government has not responsibility this problem.
They have responsivilty themselves about overweight and unhealthy problems.
Recently most of countries in the world have private free.
In their countries people can do everything. They can spend their money and eat everything.
But the problems of free have themselves. There are not the thing that they blame their problem.
In my opinion, These are entirely matter of themselves.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there Lee! Happy Holidays to you! I hope your Thanksgiving is filled to the brim with gratitude, love, and happiness. Have a wonderful long weekend. I hope you'll have a good time with your favorite people and plenty of memories!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
I think that government has not responsibility this problem.
>>> I think the government is not responsible for this problem. 
They have responsivilty themselves about overweight and unhealthy problems.
>>> Overweight and health issues are individuals' concerns. 
Recently most of countries in the world have private free.
>>> Recently, most of countries in the world have freedom about anything. 
In their countries people can do everything. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
They can spend their money and eat everything.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
But the problems of free have themselves. 
>>> But the problem is people tend to abuse their freedom. 
There are not the thing that they blame their problem.
>>> So they shouldn't blame others for having such problems. 
In my opinion, These are entirely matter of themselves.
>>> In my opinion, these should entirely be a concern of themselves.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
136588 change the hotel ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-21 1
136587 Do you prefer eating lunch together with your... Áø*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-21 5
136586 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-04-21 3
136585 Page.56 ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-04-20 0
136584 Homework À±*¼± ¿Ï·á 2024-04-20 1905
136583 How do you think society\'s definition of beauty has changed... Ȳ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-04-20 1535
136582 Is traveling and visiting every country one of your goals in... ¿À*¼Ø ¿Ï·á 2024-04-20 1
136581 My shape ÀÓ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-20 1633
136580 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-19 4
136579 How should we advertise ourselves? What are the dos and don\'ts? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-04-19 0
136578 homework 04.19 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2024-04-19 1656
136577 Homework Àå*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-19 1427
136576 Are there any controversies or concerns related to the use of... ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-19 2033
136575 HAPPY ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-19 1410
136574 What ride do you like the most in an amusement park? ÃÖ*¼º ¿Ï·á 2024-04-19 1441
136573 Keeping up with something ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-04-19 2110
136572 homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-19 1856
136571 What can we learn from failure? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-04-19 1125
136570 What architects mean to me. ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2024-04-19 1497
136569 What do you think are the biggest challenges facing young people... ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-04-19 1446

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04