¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

today\'s homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*µµ
2023-09-26 1658

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

ESSAY: In many countries, children are becoming overweight and unhealthy. Some people think that the government has the responsibility to solve this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

I think that government has not responsibility this problem.
They have responsivilty themselves about overweight and unhealthy problems.
Recently most of countries in the world have private free.
In their countries people can do everything. They can spend their money and eat everything.
But the problems of free have themselves. There are not the thing that they blame their problem.
In my opinion, These are entirely matter of themselves.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there Lee! Happy Holidays to you! I hope your Thanksgiving is filled to the brim with gratitude, love, and happiness. Have a wonderful long weekend. I hope you'll have a good time with your favorite people and plenty of memories!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
I think that government has not responsibility this problem.
>>> I think the government is not responsible for this problem. 
They have responsivilty themselves about overweight and unhealthy problems.
>>> Overweight and health issues are individuals' concerns. 
Recently most of countries in the world have private free.
>>> Recently, most of countries in the world have freedom about anything. 
In their countries people can do everything. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
They can spend their money and eat everything.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
But the problems of free have themselves. 
>>> But the problem is people tend to abuse their freedom. 
There are not the thing that they blame their problem.
>>> So they shouldn't blame others for having such problems. 
In my opinion, These are entirely matter of themselves.
>>> In my opinion, these should entirely be a concern of themselves.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
139562 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-08-29 1117
139561 The best season ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-08-29 932
139560 homework ÀÌ*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2024-08-29 1155
139559 What is the importance of family? ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-29 1
139558 worst ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-29 1
139557 features ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-29 0
139556 Homework0829 ¿À*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-29 1019
139555 H.W À¯*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-29 1
139554 )Why do some people hate going to parties? ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-29 2
139553 If you could swap one part of your daily routine with a fun... ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-08-29 1021
139552 homework ½É*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-08-29 0
139551 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-08-29 1161
139550 Would you like to live in your hometown forever? Why or why not? ±è*¼ø ¿Ï·á 2024-08-29 1147
139549 today my story À§*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-28 3
139548 Homework, ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-28 2
139547 HW ¼Û*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-08-28 1
139546 Do you like being at home alone? Why or why not? ±è*¼ø ¿Ï·á 2024-08-28 1375
139545 Homework : What is your usual day at work like? ÀÌ*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2024-08-28 1049
139544 Teachers ¹Ú*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-28 1602
139543 Homework ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-28 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04