¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Cimer swimming pool

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¹Î
2023-09-25 1100

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I went to Cimer inceon swimming pool with my mother's friends son. The swimming pool I was going was a famous swimming pool for good services. When I enter the swimming pool, I just jumped into main pool and played at there. And than me and the 5 grade brother went to ride the water slide. There was two water slide and we ride that 2 waterslide together and alone. It was fun however, it was not scary and it doesn't have thrill so it was little bit boring.¤Ñafter we played at swimming pool, we went to jimjill room where we go into hot, cold room. We went to the most hot place and many other place. And one room was so good to sleep we slept for 1hour. It was really fun

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Jude! Good to know that you spent time with your mom's friend's son in the swimming pool. It seems like you really had a good time at the pool. I'm looking forward to hearing and reading more of your composition. Take care always. We will talk more in class. I will see you  then!~ T. Lyn
I went to Cimer inceon swimming pool with my mother's friends son. 
>>My mother's friend's son and I went to Cimer Incheon Swimming Pool.
The swimming pool I was going was a famous swimming pool for good services.
>>The swimming pool I went to was famous for its good service.
When I enter the swimming pool, I just jumped into main pool and played at there. 
>>When I got into the pool, I just jumped into the main pool and played there.
And than me and the 5 grade brother went to ride the water slide. 
>>And my younger brother, who was the 5th grade, went to go on the water slide.
There was two water slide and we ride that 2 waterslide together and alone. 
>>There were two waterslides and we rode them together.
It was fun however, it was not scary and it doesn't have thrill so it was little bit boring.
>>It was fun but it wasn't scary or thrilling so its was a bit boring.
¤Ñafter we played at swimming pool, we went to jimjill room where we go into hot, cold room. 
>>After we played at the swimming pool, we went to the Jimjill room where there is a hot and cold room.
We went to the most hot place and many other place. 
>>We went to the hottest place and in many other places.
And one room was so good to sleep we slept for 1hour. 
>>And one room was so comfortable that I slept for about an hour.
It was really fun
>>It was very enjoyable.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
132172 What advice would you give to someone who wants to improve... ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-11-03 0
132171 If you were a parent, would you start transferring your... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-11-03 2
132170 homework ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-11-03 1767
132169 The best time for me to spend time ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-11-03 3044
132168 Which cartoon character would you be and why?ᩚ ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-03 1869
132167 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-03 0
132166 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-03 0
132165 What is your favorite public transportation? ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-03 1
132164 A beautiful mountain in my country. ¹Ú*À² ¿Ï·á 2023-11-03 1474
132163 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-03 1631
132162 HOMEWORK ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-11-03 1880
132161 Homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2023-11-03 1048
132160 Homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2023-11-03 2154
132159 Homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2023-11-03 1894
132158 Homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2023-11-03 2213
132157 What comes to mind when you hear the word ¡®Disney¡¯? ±Ç*¸ð ¿Ï·á 2023-11-03 1658
132156 Doing my homework is very interesting. Á¤*³ª ¿Ï·á 2023-11-03 2912
132155 digital ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-03 1454
132154 homework Á¤*¾È ¿Ï·á 2023-11-03 2
132153 What are the reasons why people start smoking? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-03 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04