¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Cimer swimming pool

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¹Î
2023-09-25 460

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I went to Cimer inceon swimming pool with my mother's friends son. The swimming pool I was going was a famous swimming pool for good services. When I enter the swimming pool, I just jumped into main pool and played at there. And than me and the 5 grade brother went to ride the water slide. There was two water slide and we ride that 2 waterslide together and alone. It was fun however, it was not scary and it doesn't have thrill so it was little bit boring.¤Ñafter we played at swimming pool, we went to jimjill room where we go into hot, cold room. We went to the most hot place and many other place. And one room was so good to sleep we slept for 1hour. It was really fun

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Jude! Good to know that you spent time with your mom's friend's son in the swimming pool. It seems like you really had a good time at the pool. I'm looking forward to hearing and reading more of your composition. Take care always. We will talk more in class. I will see you  then!~ T. Lyn
I went to Cimer inceon swimming pool with my mother's friends son. 
>>My mother's friend's son and I went to Cimer Incheon Swimming Pool.
The swimming pool I was going was a famous swimming pool for good services.
>>The swimming pool I went to was famous for its good service.
When I enter the swimming pool, I just jumped into main pool and played at there. 
>>When I got into the pool, I just jumped into the main pool and played there.
And than me and the 5 grade brother went to ride the water slide. 
>>And my younger brother, who was the 5th grade, went to go on the water slide.
There was two water slide and we ride that 2 waterslide together and alone. 
>>There were two waterslides and we rode them together.
It was fun however, it was not scary and it doesn't have thrill so it was little bit boring.
>>It was fun but it wasn't scary or thrilling so its was a bit boring.
¤Ñafter we played at swimming pool, we went to jimjill room where we go into hot, cold room. 
>>After we played at the swimming pool, we went to the Jimjill room where there is a hot and cold room.
We went to the most hot place and many other place. 
>>We went to the hottest place and in many other places.
And one room was so good to sleep we slept for 1hour. 
>>And one room was so comfortable that I slept for about an hour.
It was really fun
>>It was very enjoyable.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
131538 awkward situation when i experienced talking on the phone ÀÌ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-10-10 2
131537 homework ¼Õ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-10 715
131536 decline offer ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-10 738
131535 Do you think online meetings or conferences are better or worse?... ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-10 1
131534 Why expensive restaurants have high price of food °­*À² ¿Ï·á 2023-10-10 1
131533 HOMEWORK ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-10-10 912
131532 HOMEWORK ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-10-10 672
131531 9.Oct.2023 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-10 1
131530 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-10 1306
131529 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-10-10 904
131528 Do you think people should continue practicing their traditions... ¼Û*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-09 855
131527 homework 10.09 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-10-09 1164
131526 where I want to fishing ÃÖ*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-09 1038
131525 My favorite emoji ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-10-09 702
131524 Homework ÀÌ*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-09 709
131523 What was the most special thing you did for a friend in the... ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-09 856
131522 Can You Tell which sentences are True and which are False? ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-10-09 1
131521 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about ¡°My favorite... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-10-09 2
131520 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-10-09 1137
131519 What do you put in your poket? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-10-09 1454

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04