¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

today\'s homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*µµ
2023-09-24 1003

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

ESSAY: In many situations, people who break the law should be warned instead of punished. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

I think people who break the law must be punished. Because punishments change people better.
I believe that people are not kind from first. People bear them thought law and punishments.
If they don't get punishment, they will be depreciate other people. The weak hurt and be snatched their precious things.
There are kind people in this world. someone sacrifice life my self to help other people. But the peple are not always kind.
They are educated good place and strict law.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Lee~!^^ The holiday is just around the corner! I hope you already have plans how you'll spend it! Have a good one!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
I think people who break the law must be punished.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 Because punishments change people better.
>>>  Because punishments can change the people for the better.
I believe that people are not kind from first.
>>> I believe that people are not naturally.
 People bear them thought law and punishments.
>>>  People bear them through law and punishments.
If they don't get punishment, they will be depreciate other people.
>>> If they don't get punished, they will be depreciated by other people.
 The weak hurt and be snatched their precious things.
>>>  The weak could be hurt and could be victims of snatching. 
There are kind people in this world. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
someone sacrifice life my self to help other people.
>>> Some people can sacrifice their lives to help other people. 
 But the peple are not always kind.
>>> However, not most people are kind. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
129516 homework 07.13 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-07-13 2277
129515 What pet do you have at home? ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-07-13 3341
129514 Home work ±è* ¿Ï·á 2023-07-13 0
129513 What makes you feel happy? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-13 0
129512 Where is the best place to rest in your house? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-07-13 2220
129511 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-13 1816
129510 homework Àå*¼® ¿Ï·á 2023-07-13 3124
129509 Sports ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-13 1
129508 2023.7.13 homework ±è*»è ¿Ï·á 2023-07-13 3962
129507 WRITING TASK: What are your ways to study more effectively? ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-07-13 2
129506 What are you really good at doing? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-07-13 3240
129505 How can daily life support services positively impact the... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-13 3208
129504 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-07-13 2296
129503 Homework Á¤*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-13 1578
129502 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-07-13 0
129501 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-07-13 1473
129500 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-07-13 0
129499 HOMEWORK FOR 06/23 How important is it to wear a facemask when... ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-13 6
129498 Diary ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-13 0
129497 What crimes do you think will increase in the future? ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-13 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04