¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

today\'s homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*µµ
2023-09-24 923

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

ESSAY: In many situations, people who break the law should be warned instead of punished. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

I think people who break the law must be punished. Because punishments change people better.
I believe that people are not kind from first. People bear them thought law and punishments.
If they don't get punishment, they will be depreciate other people. The weak hurt and be snatched their precious things.
There are kind people in this world. someone sacrifice life my self to help other people. But the peple are not always kind.
They are educated good place and strict law.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Lee~!^^ The holiday is just around the corner! I hope you already have plans how you'll spend it! Have a good one!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
I think people who break the law must be punished.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 Because punishments change people better.
>>>  Because punishments can change the people for the better.
I believe that people are not kind from first.
>>> I believe that people are not naturally.
 People bear them thought law and punishments.
>>>  People bear them through law and punishments.
If they don't get punishment, they will be depreciate other people.
>>> If they don't get punished, they will be depreciated by other people.
 The weak hurt and be snatched their precious things.
>>>  The weak could be hurt and could be victims of snatching. 
There are kind people in this world. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
someone sacrifice life my self to help other people.
>>> Some people can sacrifice their lives to help other people. 
 But the peple are not always kind.
>>> However, not most people are kind. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
130206 What should people with insomnia do? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-15 1642
130205 What is the advantage of using the English language? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-08-15 2208
130204 What are some ways to help you fall asleep? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-15 1724
130203 How did you hear about this position? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-08-15 1550
130202 Is overpopulation a problem in your town or country? ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-08-15 1832
130201 How can social norms and cultural influences impact behavior? Á¤*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-15 1420
130200 Do you have a favorite song that you love to perform? What is... ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-15 0
130199 WRITING TASK: How can helping others benefit someone? ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-08-15 2
130198 What is the main things of behavior ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-15 0
130197 Being a role model ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-15 0
130196 How does behavior change across different life stages, from... Á¤*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-15 1424
130195 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-08-14 1509
130194 What\'s your thought on cliques in schools? Would you want to... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-08-14 2
130193 homework 08.14 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-08-14 2115
130192 What and who are your major influences for having your recent... Á¶*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-08-14 2434
130191 Would you rather have a dog or cat? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-08-14 958
130190 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-14 1738
130189 Today\'s homework ÀÌ*µµ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-14 1997
130188 My own way to relieve stress ¼º*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-14 1472
130187 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-14 1557

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04