¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

today\'s homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*µµ
2023-09-24 443

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

ESSAY: In many situations, people who break the law should be warned instead of punished. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

I think people who break the law must be punished. Because punishments change people better.
I believe that people are not kind from first. People bear them thought law and punishments.
If they don't get punishment, they will be depreciate other people. The weak hurt and be snatched their precious things.
There are kind people in this world. someone sacrifice life my self to help other people. But the peple are not always kind.
They are educated good place and strict law.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Lee~!^^ The holiday is just around the corner! I hope you already have plans how you'll spend it! Have a good one!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
I think people who break the law must be punished.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 Because punishments change people better.
>>>  Because punishments can change the people for the better.
I believe that people are not kind from first.
>>> I believe that people are not naturally.
 People bear them thought law and punishments.
>>>  People bear them through law and punishments.
If they don't get punishment, they will be depreciate other people.
>>> If they don't get punished, they will be depreciated by other people.
 The weak hurt and be snatched their precious things.
>>>  The weak could be hurt and could be victims of snatching. 
There are kind people in this world. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
someone sacrifice life my self to help other people.
>>> Some people can sacrifice their lives to help other people. 
 But the peple are not always kind.
>>> However, not most people are kind. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
134524 Do you think festivals are important for counties? ÃÖ*¼ø ¿Ï·á 2024-02-06 772
134523 Homework Ȳ*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-02-06 693
134522 Diary ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-06 1
134521 What do you think is the worst kind of crime? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2024-02-06 438
134520 my weekends ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-06 675
134519 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-02-06 862
134518 Homework À±*¼± ¿Ï·á 2024-02-06 891
134517 Homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2024-02-06 582
134516 Would you like to travel to other countries alone somday? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-02-06 827
134515 Homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2024-02-06 470
134514 Homework ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-02-06 4
134513 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-02-06 207
134512 Different thought °í*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-06 1054
134511 WRITING TASK: What was the most memorable concert you have been... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-02-06 9
134510 At what age does a child become an adult ¹Ú*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-02-06 1133
134509 Describe your favorite place in detail. ÃÖ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-06 826
134508 If you could change one thing about your current house ot make... ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-06 692
134507 qweqweq Te*002 ¿Ï·á 2024-02-06 5
134506 dsad Te*002 ¿Ï·á 2024-02-06 5
134505 homework 2024-02-06 ÀÌ*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2024-02-06 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04