¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 09.22

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2023-09-22 1814

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Should companies ban their employees from using social networking sites at work?

In my opinion, if we don't free time, it's not good to do social networking sites.
Because, there is a working place.
A few years ago YouTube became popular in Korea, and even office employees YouTubers are popular.
They are did filmed, edited, and posted their daily life on YouTube while working at their company.
But, there are many company don't like this behavior.
Because they work for their social media instead of main job at the company.
I think, except in special cases, it's not a good idea to do social networking for a long time during work.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille


~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Should companies ban their employees from using social networking sites at work?


In my opinion, if we don't free time, it's not good to do social networking sites.
>> In my opinion, if we don't have free time, it's not good to do social networking sites.
Because, there is a working place.
>> That's because it is our work place.
A few years ago YouTube became popular in Korea, and even office employees YouTubers are popular.
>> CORRECT!
They are did filmed, edited, and posted their daily life on YouTube while working at their company.
>> They film, edit, and post their daily life on YouTube while working in their company.
But, there are many company don't like this behavior.
>> But, there are many companies that don't like this behavior.
Because they work for their social media instead of main job at the company.
>> It's because they work for their social media instead of their main job in the company.
I think, except in special cases, it's not a good idea to do social networking for a long time during work.
>> CORRECT!

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
125691 When I am alone ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-16 1008
125690 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-02-16 532
125689 2023-2/15 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-15 2172
125688 What do you do when you have trouble sleeping? ¹Ú*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-02-15 695
125687 We have to practice how to read efficiently ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-02-15 0
125686 homework 02.15 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-02-15 788
125685 What\'s your thought on the death penalty as punishment for a... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-02-15 2
125684 Peer pressure is just a fact of life. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-02-15 994
125683 HOMEWORK È«*¼± ¿Ï·á 2023-02-15 5
125682 homework. ½Å*ÈÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-15 862
125681 homework ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-15 836
125680 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-15 1776
125679 homework ½Å*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-02-15 3
125678 letter ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-15 3
125677 Why are long-term goals important? ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2023-02-15 931
125676 memory ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-15 1
125675 Exam stress affects me¡¦ ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-02-15 1089
125674 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2023-02-15 2
125673 Should arrests be made of the builders of the apartments... ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-02-15 4
125672 homework ä*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-15 606

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04