¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 09.22

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2023-09-22 1555

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Should companies ban their employees from using social networking sites at work?

In my opinion, if we don't free time, it's not good to do social networking sites.
Because, there is a working place.
A few years ago YouTube became popular in Korea, and even office employees YouTubers are popular.
They are did filmed, edited, and posted their daily life on YouTube while working at their company.
But, there are many company don't like this behavior.
Because they work for their social media instead of main job at the company.
I think, except in special cases, it's not a good idea to do social networking for a long time during work.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille


~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Should companies ban their employees from using social networking sites at work?


In my opinion, if we don't free time, it's not good to do social networking sites.
>> In my opinion, if we don't have free time, it's not good to do social networking sites.
Because, there is a working place.
>> That's because it is our work place.
A few years ago YouTube became popular in Korea, and even office employees YouTubers are popular.
>> CORRECT!
They are did filmed, edited, and posted their daily life on YouTube while working at their company.
>> They film, edit, and post their daily life on YouTube while working in their company.
But, there are many company don't like this behavior.
>> But, there are many companies that don't like this behavior.
Because they work for their social media instead of main job at the company.
>> It's because they work for their social media instead of their main job in the company.
I think, except in special cases, it's not a good idea to do social networking for a long time during work.
>> CORRECT!

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
128766 How will you describe modern technology in your country? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-06-09 1120
128765 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-09 0
128764 Effect of text to relationship of face to face ¼º*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-09 1101
128763 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-09 0
128762 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-09 0
128761 What are your weekend plans? ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-06-09 2
128760 Diary ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-09 1
128759 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-09 1
128758 If I\'m angry. À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-06-09 843
128757 What healthy habits do you have such as washing your hands... ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2023-06-09 853
128756 Writing task ¾È*Çü ¿Ï·á 2023-06-09 899
128755 My favorite activities when i was a child ÃÖ*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-09 1565
128754 I love adventure. À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-06-09 739
128753 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-09 1138
128752 Homework ÀÌ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-06-09 673
128751 My father¡¯s lesson ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-06-09 1084
128750 Which is more important to you, music or TV? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-09 0
128749 What is the best act of kindness that you can show/give to a... ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-06-09 2
128748 homework 06.08 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-06-08 1709
128747 ¿µÀÛ ¼÷Á¦ ÀÌ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-06-08 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04