¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 09.22

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2023-09-22 513

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Should companies ban their employees from using social networking sites at work?

In my opinion, if we don't free time, it's not good to do social networking sites.
Because, there is a working place.
A few years ago YouTube became popular in Korea, and even office employees YouTubers are popular.
They are did filmed, edited, and posted their daily life on YouTube while working at their company.
But, there are many company don't like this behavior.
Because they work for their social media instead of main job at the company.
I think, except in special cases, it's not a good idea to do social networking for a long time during work.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille


~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Should companies ban their employees from using social networking sites at work?


In my opinion, if we don't free time, it's not good to do social networking sites.
>> In my opinion, if we don't have free time, it's not good to do social networking sites.
Because, there is a working place.
>> That's because it is our work place.
A few years ago YouTube became popular in Korea, and even office employees YouTubers are popular.
>> CORRECT!
They are did filmed, edited, and posted their daily life on YouTube while working at their company.
>> They film, edit, and post their daily life on YouTube while working in their company.
But, there are many company don't like this behavior.
>> But, there are many companies that don't like this behavior.
Because they work for their social media instead of main job at the company.
>> It's because they work for their social media instead of their main job in the company.
I think, except in special cases, it's not a good idea to do social networking for a long time during work.
>> CORRECT!

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
133052 commitment to something ÀÓ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-12-07 797
133051 Type of drink depending on place. ±è*ºó ¿Ï·á 2023-12-07 0
133050 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2023-12-07 1
133049 homework Á¤*¾È ¿Ï·á 2023-12-07 0
133048 I would probably like to take a selfie with my family or my... À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-12-07 1247
133047 Homework ¿À*ºó ¿Ï·á 2023-12-07 1
133046 I think pronunciation is a problem that depends on effort. À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-12-07 823
133045 I think knowledge is power. À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-12-07 1135
133044 Can you tell me about your favorite movie? À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-12-07 0
133043 I don\'t really want to have dual citizenship. À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-12-07 827
133042 Robert Tizon said: \"I would rather have eyes that cannot see;... À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-12-07 0
133041 Is tipping should be compulsory? Á¤*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-07 809
133040 Do other people\'s bad habits get on your nerves? Which ones? ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-07 1
133039 nomework ±è*¸° ¿Ï·á 2023-12-07 739
133038 The problem of a aging population ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-12-07 653
133037 What\'s difference between facilities and amenities in the hotel? Á¤*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-07 777
133036 Can you recall a time when you missed an opportunity by not... ¾ö*ºó ¿Ï·á 2023-12-07 2
133035 What advice would you give to someone who is hesitant about... ¾ö*ºó ¿Ï·á 2023-12-07 1
133034 homwork ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-07 0
133033 What do you want to include in your ideal fitness program? ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-07 673

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04