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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Have you ever visited a national park or wildlife sanctuary? What was your experience like?

작성자: 이*윤
2023-09-21 762

회원님의 영작문

Korea doesn't have specialized wildlife reserves like other countries.
However, there are many national parks.
I have been to Jirisan National Park with my family to spend my vacation.
I went to see Jirisan Mountaion, so I stayed a pension and didn't hiking or tracking like everyone else.
As it was a national park, it was sensitive to the problem of garbage and forest fires.
Trash should not be thrown anywhere, but must be thrown at a designated place or brought down by oneself, and items that could make fire, such as lighter and matches, were prohibited from being used to prevent forest fires.
There were also many non-smoking areas. Cooking and smoking were also prohibited.
So, Jirisan National Park didn't have much trash and the air was clear because the environment was preserved.
Wildlife is also heavily protected, so it is easy to see things like deer, and if you are lucky, you can see rare animals, which are natural monuments such as Asiatic black bears.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi Yun! Based on your experience, Jirisan Mountain sounds spectacular. Here in the Philippines, we don't have bears like in Korea. Thanks for sharing, Yun. Great job! See you in our class.

~T. Jade^^
Homework: Have you ever visited a national park or wildlife sanctuary? What was your experience like?
Korea doesn't have specialized wildlife reserves like other countries.
>> Correct
However, there are many national parks.
>> Correct
I have been to Jirisan National Park with my family to spend my vacation.
>> Correct
I went to see Jirisan Mountaion, so I stayed a pension and didn't hiking or tracking like everyone else.
>> I went to see Jirisan Mountain, so I stayed at a pension and didn't go hiking or trekking like everyone else.
As it was a national park, it was sensitive to the problem of garbage and forest fires.
>> Correct
Trash should not be thrown anywhere, but must be thrown at a designated place or brought down by oneself, and items that could make fire, such as lighter and matches, were prohibited from being used to prevent forest fires.
>> Correct
>> OR: Trash should not be thrown anywhere but must be deposited in a designated place or carried out by oneself. Additionally, items that could cause fires, such as lighters and matches, were prohibited to prevent forest fires.
There were also many non-smoking areas. 
>> Correct
Cooking and smoking were also prohibited.
>> Correct
So, Jirisan National Park didn't have much trash and the air was clear because the environment was preserved.
>> Correct
Wildlife is also heavily protected, so it is easy to see things like deer, and if you are lucky, you can see rare animals, which are natural monuments such as Asiatic black bears.
>> Correct
>> OR: Wildlife is also heavily protected, making it easy to see animals like deer. If you are lucky, you may even spot rare animals, such as natural monuments like Asiatic black bears.
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첨삭이 가능하며,

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