¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ½Å*È­
2023-09-19 1209

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

As I got married, started a family, and my children grew up, I realized that I needed money, and that my retirement and my children's future would not be easy if my husband was alone in his economic activities, so I started working hard.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Eliana,
Thank you for doing your homework once again.
Building a family requires sacrifice and "more" responsibility. I totally agree with you that we need to work to help our husbands. Another wrong concept in the Philippines is that if another party works in another country, they're already rich. Some people ask me why I need to work when my husband is working abroad. they do not understand our purpose.
Have a good day!
Aki~

As I got married, started a family, and my children grew up, 
>>> After I got married,  my family and my children grew up

I realized that I needed money, and that my retirement and my children's future would not be easy if my husband was alone in his economic activities, so I started working hard.
>>> CORRECT!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
132112 Is there something fun that you haven¡¯t been able to do yet? Á¶*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-11-02 0
132111 1.Nov 2023 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-02 1
132110 Have you ever stumbled upon a job posting in a completely... ÀÌ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-11-02 1
132109 homework_231101 ÇÑ*·Ï ¿Ï·á 2023-11-02 1
132108 What are your main responsibilities in your current job? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-11-02 2280
132107 Are workers more productive at home? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-11-02 1
132106 HOMEWORK -231101 ¾ç*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2023-11-01 1
132105 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-11-01 1844
132104 What is your favorite thing to do on social media? Explain why. ±è*¼ø ¿Ï·á 2023-11-01 1469
132103 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-01 2
132102 homework 11.01 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-11-01 2075
132101 I am half in favor of and half against the content of the... À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-11-01 1617
132100 I don\'t think I\'m going to ask questions because homeless... À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-11-01 1974
132099 Providing the things you need ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-11-01 2474
132098 I think all movies are the best. À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-11-01 3538
132097 Yes, the world\'s oceans are dangerous. À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-11-01 2032
132096 Pick your favorite food. Describe what you taste, smell, and... ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-01 2487
132095 Which one would you choose, live longer but suffer from more... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-11-01 1
132094 homework ¾È*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-01 1271
132093 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about ¡°What is the... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-11-01 3

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04