¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Today\'s homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*µµ
2023-09-19 1210

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

ESSAY: Some people believe that people behave differently when they wear different clothes, while others do not believe that clothes influence the way people behave. Which opinion do you agree with and why? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.

Clothes don't effect people's behave. The factor that changes people's behave is thinking.
The reason that clothes are important is their mind is different.
But, it is very short. human forget its feeling.
So, people's clothes don't change recognize.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there Lee~!^^ Thank you for showing your enthusiasm in learning the English language. I appreciate your effort! ^^ 
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
Clothes don't effect people's behave.
>>> Clothes don't affect people's behavior.
 The factor that changes people's behave is thinking.
>>> The factor which changes people's behavior is their thought.
The reason that clothes are important is their mind is different.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
But, it is very short. human forget its feeling.
>>> But, if it is very short, humans forget their feelings.
So, people's clothes don't change recognize.
>>> So, people's clothes don't change for recognition. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
123884 If you were invited to a fancy dinner with the president, what... ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-11-30 7
123883 Why are some people not interested in sports? ¾ç*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-11-29 1259
123882 How can you make your free time more productive? Answer in a few... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-29 1324
123881 Make a story about two best friends who became the most popular... ±è*À² ¿Ï·á 2022-11-29 1281
123880 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-11-29 0
123879 Homework (11/24) ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-11-29 1
123878 Homework (11/23) ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-11-29 1
123877 homework ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-29 1499
123876 check on ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-29 1
123875 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-29 1472
123874 homework ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-29 1862
123873 Would you like to attend a World Cup in the future? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-29 1444
123872 Which country, city, or town have you always wanted to travel... ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-29 1343
123871 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-11-29 2
123870 HOMEWORK: What extreme sports do you know? Why do you think... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2022-11-29 3
123869 Homework (11/29) ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-11-29 5
123868 I love the local food. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-11-29 1261
123867 HOMEWORK: What is the most interesting thing about learning... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2022-11-29 2
123866 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-11-29 0
123865 homework ÀÌ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-11-29 1192

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04