¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Today\'s homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*µµ
2023-09-19 325

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

ESSAY: Some people believe that people behave differently when they wear different clothes, while others do not believe that clothes influence the way people behave. Which opinion do you agree with and why? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.

Clothes don't effect people's behave. The factor that changes people's behave is thinking.
The reason that clothes are important is their mind is different.
But, it is very short. human forget its feeling.
So, people's clothes don't change recognize.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there Lee~!^^ Thank you for showing your enthusiasm in learning the English language. I appreciate your effort! ^^ 
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
Clothes don't effect people's behave.
>>> Clothes don't affect people's behavior.
 The factor that changes people's behave is thinking.
>>> The factor which changes people's behavior is their thought.
The reason that clothes are important is their mind is different.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
But, it is very short. human forget its feeling.
>>> But, if it is very short, humans forget their feelings.
So, people's clothes don't change recognize.
>>> So, people's clothes don't change for recognition. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
133446 WRITING TASK: What do you like on a rainy day? ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-12-26 3
133445 HOMEWORK FOR 12.22.2023 WRITING TASK: How do funny people affect... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-12-26 2
133444 Learning English ÀÓ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-12-26 612
133443 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-12-25 695
133442 Appreciation. ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-25 936
133441 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-12-25 1373
133440 How do you understand this: ¡°When in Rome, do as the Romans... ±Ç*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-12-25 2
133439 About five old Palaces in Seoul. ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-25 1
133438 About the Korean National flag. ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-25 1
133437 What YV show do you like watching? Why? ÃÖ*ÇÑ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-25 850
133436 >> What is the best financial decision you have ever made? ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-12-25 2
133435 Artists ¿°*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-25 1
133434 I think the cycling sport is great. ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-25 0
133433 Sport ¿°*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-25 1
133432 Stress ¿°*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-25 1
133431 Please check my diary grammar and sentence!! ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2023-12-24 608
133430 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-24 1015
133429 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-24 593
133428 What opinions do you have about cancel culture? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-12-24 1
133427 ¼÷Á¦ ±Ç*Å ¿Ï·á 2023-12-24 539

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04