¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Today\'s homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*µµ
2023-09-19 1339

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

ESSAY: Some people believe that people behave differently when they wear different clothes, while others do not believe that clothes influence the way people behave. Which opinion do you agree with and why? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.

Clothes don't effect people's behave. The factor that changes people's behave is thinking.
The reason that clothes are important is their mind is different.
But, it is very short. human forget its feeling.
So, people's clothes don't change recognize.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there Lee~!^^ Thank you for showing your enthusiasm in learning the English language. I appreciate your effort! ^^ 
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
Clothes don't effect people's behave.
>>> Clothes don't affect people's behavior.
 The factor that changes people's behave is thinking.
>>> The factor which changes people's behavior is their thought.
The reason that clothes are important is their mind is different.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
But, it is very short. human forget its feeling.
>>> But, if it is very short, humans forget their feelings.
So, people's clothes don't change recognize.
>>> So, people's clothes don't change for recognition. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
122399 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-16 1202
122398 What new technology could you not live without? ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-16 2134
122397 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-16 0
122396 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-16 0
122395 homework ◡̈ ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-09-16 1574
122394 What is the general feeling towards police in your country, is... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-16 2326
122393 Think of a problem that you have encountered and tell me how you... ¹Ú*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-16 2062
122392 Friday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-09-16 1573
122391 What was your unforgettable experience at work? Describe the... ¹Ú*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-16 2370
122390 Hi Gemmar ÀÌ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-09-16 2613
122389 What kind of festival would you organize if you could only have... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-16 1503
122388 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-16 2
122387 What time of the day do you like the most, morning, afternoon,... Àå*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2022-09-16 1185
122386 my most memorable date ¹Ú*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-09-16 4
122385 crimes ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-16 1495
122384 homework À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-09-16 2077
122383 09.15.2022 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-16 1
122382 9/15 homework À±*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-09-16 3178
122381 Leaders are made. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-09-15 1395
122380 Do you think cosmetics are good for the skin? Why or why not? Àü*ä ¿Ï·á 2022-09-15 2227

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04