¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2023-09-19 812

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Hi.
I've been worried about your health more and more.
You are not such an old person, we just belong to fourties.
Make sure you try to recover your body and see doctors soon.
Money is crucial, but not as much as health.
You have a good energy to be able to influence to many people.
It is a special gift from God, so you have a responsiblity for that.
Stay healthy and happy always.
Anyway, God gave only a little patients to me this morning.
The profit was not bad though.
I think I don't want more money and more work.
Of course, I have no choice because of my debt now.
When I started my clinic alone, I failed to manage my staff many times.
Although I didn't mean to make a problem, whenever I listened to and sympathize a staff's word, many staff started conflicts.
One day, five staff resigned together, when there were only seven staff worked in the clinic.
It was a terrible time.
After many years, I've realized that I shouldn't have shared personal emotion in relationship with staff.
See

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good evening, Dr. Kim!

This is the second essay that I am checking from you today. You are really consistent and dedicated to your work. I salute you for these.

Actually, I am lucky to be sick over the weekend. In two more days, I shall fully recover and emcee three events. I really need to be healthy during those days. I may even get the chance to meet the Philippine President on the third event. I hope he comes in flesh and not join through a video message. ^^ You know I always take your advice. I will do my best to get an executive check up soon. There is nothing to worry about (I hope). ^^

Regarding your patients, there are good days, and there are better days. These are things that you can predict but not all the time. The only guarantee that patients and clients will go and visit your is their urgency to visit you. So cross your fingers always.

About the lesson that you learned from the past leadership you had, it is true that familiarity breeds contempt. The more you know about your staff, the more disappointed you become. So drawing your border lines from them creates a more professional growth.

Thank you very much to your early submission of homework today! Tomorrow,  you shall enjoy your life and forget about your clinic. Meanwhile, your writing contains a variety of simple to complex sentences. Be cautious about your word order as well as spelling always. Excellent output, keep it up!

See you!

-T. Donna~

Hi.
>> Correct!

I've been worried about your health more and more.
>> Correct!

You are not such an old person, we just belong to fourties.
>> Correct!

Make sure you try to recover your body and see doctors soon.
>> Correct!

Money is crucial, but not as much as health.
>> Correct!

You have a good energy to be able to influence to many people.
>> Correct!

It is a special gift from God, so you have a responsiblity for that.
>> Correct!
Or: responsibility

Stay healthy and happy always.
>> Correct!

Anyway, God gave only a little patients to me this morning.
>> Anyway, God gave only a few patients to me this morning.

The profit was not bad though.
>> Correct!

I think I don't want more money and more work.
>> Correct!

Of course, I have no choice because of my debt now.
>> Correct!

When I started my clinic alone, I failed to manage my staff many times.
>> Correct!

Although I didn't mean to make a problem, whenever I listened to and sympathize a staff's word, many staff started conflicts.
>> Although I didn't mean to make a problem, whenever I listened to and sympathize to a staff's word, many staff started conflicts.

One day, five staff resigned together, when there were only seven staff worked in the clinic.
>> One day, five staff resigned together, when there were only seven staff who worked in the clinic.

It was a terrible time.
>> Correct!

After many years, I've realized that I shouldn't have shared personal emotion in relationship with staff.
>> After many years, I've realized that I shouldn't have shared personal emotional relationship with my staff.

See
>> See you.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
128938 What do you love wearing in the summer? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-20 1
128937 Is it possible that there is life on other planets? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-06-20 1
128936 What do you think the Korean government should do with regards... ÀÌ*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-19 558
128935 Myhomework Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2023-06-19 178
128934 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-06-19 1
128933 homework 06.19 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-06-19 433
128932 Characteristics of good friend ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-06-19 362
128931 What is your biggest fear? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-06-19 948
128930 I¡¯m afraid of the dark ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-06-19 584
128929 What is your favorite teacher and why? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-06-19 475
128928 My best trip ever ÃÖ*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-19 365
128927 homework ¾È*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-19 410
128926 Some people think employers should not care about the way their... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-06-19 1
128925 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-19 454
128924 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-19 1
128923 Are you afraid of the dark? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-06-19 507
128922 What are the positive and negative ways some people choose to... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-19 543
128921 Which artists/bands do you want to see at a music festival? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-19 1091
128920 How good are you at playing sports? How could you be better? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-19 252
128919 19.Jun.2023 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-19 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04