¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2023-09-19 1493

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Hi.
I've been worried about your health more and more.
You are not such an old person, we just belong to fourties.
Make sure you try to recover your body and see doctors soon.
Money is crucial, but not as much as health.
You have a good energy to be able to influence to many people.
It is a special gift from God, so you have a responsiblity for that.
Stay healthy and happy always.
Anyway, God gave only a little patients to me this morning.
The profit was not bad though.
I think I don't want more money and more work.
Of course, I have no choice because of my debt now.
When I started my clinic alone, I failed to manage my staff many times.
Although I didn't mean to make a problem, whenever I listened to and sympathize a staff's word, many staff started conflicts.
One day, five staff resigned together, when there were only seven staff worked in the clinic.
It was a terrible time.
After many years, I've realized that I shouldn't have shared personal emotion in relationship with staff.
See

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good evening, Dr. Kim!

This is the second essay that I am checking from you today. You are really consistent and dedicated to your work. I salute you for these.

Actually, I am lucky to be sick over the weekend. In two more days, I shall fully recover and emcee three events. I really need to be healthy during those days. I may even get the chance to meet the Philippine President on the third event. I hope he comes in flesh and not join through a video message. ^^ You know I always take your advice. I will do my best to get an executive check up soon. There is nothing to worry about (I hope). ^^

Regarding your patients, there are good days, and there are better days. These are things that you can predict but not all the time. The only guarantee that patients and clients will go and visit your is their urgency to visit you. So cross your fingers always.

About the lesson that you learned from the past leadership you had, it is true that familiarity breeds contempt. The more you know about your staff, the more disappointed you become. So drawing your border lines from them creates a more professional growth.

Thank you very much to your early submission of homework today! Tomorrow,  you shall enjoy your life and forget about your clinic. Meanwhile, your writing contains a variety of simple to complex sentences. Be cautious about your word order as well as spelling always. Excellent output, keep it up!

See you!

-T. Donna~

Hi.
>> Correct!

I've been worried about your health more and more.
>> Correct!

You are not such an old person, we just belong to fourties.
>> Correct!

Make sure you try to recover your body and see doctors soon.
>> Correct!

Money is crucial, but not as much as health.
>> Correct!

You have a good energy to be able to influence to many people.
>> Correct!

It is a special gift from God, so you have a responsiblity for that.
>> Correct!
Or: responsibility

Stay healthy and happy always.
>> Correct!

Anyway, God gave only a little patients to me this morning.
>> Anyway, God gave only a few patients to me this morning.

The profit was not bad though.
>> Correct!

I think I don't want more money and more work.
>> Correct!

Of course, I have no choice because of my debt now.
>> Correct!

When I started my clinic alone, I failed to manage my staff many times.
>> Correct!

Although I didn't mean to make a problem, whenever I listened to and sympathize a staff's word, many staff started conflicts.
>> Although I didn't mean to make a problem, whenever I listened to and sympathize to a staff's word, many staff started conflicts.

One day, five staff resigned together, when there were only seven staff worked in the clinic.
>> One day, five staff resigned together, when there were only seven staff who worked in the clinic.

It was a terrible time.
>> Correct!

After many years, I've realized that I shouldn't have shared personal emotion in relationship with staff.
>> After many years, I've realized that I shouldn't have shared personal emotional relationship with my staff.

See
>> See you.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
133363 Can you discuss whether artificial intelligence is right or... ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-12-20 1
133362 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about \"What is the... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-12-20 0
133361 Do you like traveling alone? Kindly explain your answer in no... ±è*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-20 2
133360 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-12-20 1092
133359 To answer the question about military services °í*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-20 1460
133358 diary ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-20 0
133357 >>> Can you recall (without looking) who and what are on your... ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-12-20 3
133356 What are working conditions like in your country? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-12-20 1269
133355 What comes to mind whenever you hear the expression... ¹é*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-12-20 1875
133354 Homework ±è*´ã ¿Ï·á 2023-12-20 1293
133353 BUSAN ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-20 951
133352 Grammar question ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-20 1280
133351 18.Dec.2023 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-20 1
133350 Travel in the future ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-20 1452
133349 When should we say yes and when should we say no? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-12-20 3
133348 My Personality °­*À² ¿Ï·á 2023-12-19 1
133347 What kind of transport do you wish existed in you city/area? ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-19 3
133346 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-12-19 1553
133345 My Spare Time ¹Ú*À² ¿Ï·á 2023-12-19 1502
133344 Do you like looking at stars? Why or why not? ÃÖ*ÇÑ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-19 1542

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04