¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2023-09-19 1657

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Hi.
I've been worried about your health more and more.
You are not such an old person, we just belong to fourties.
Make sure you try to recover your body and see doctors soon.
Money is crucial, but not as much as health.
You have a good energy to be able to influence to many people.
It is a special gift from God, so you have a responsiblity for that.
Stay healthy and happy always.
Anyway, God gave only a little patients to me this morning.
The profit was not bad though.
I think I don't want more money and more work.
Of course, I have no choice because of my debt now.
When I started my clinic alone, I failed to manage my staff many times.
Although I didn't mean to make a problem, whenever I listened to and sympathize a staff's word, many staff started conflicts.
One day, five staff resigned together, when there were only seven staff worked in the clinic.
It was a terrible time.
After many years, I've realized that I shouldn't have shared personal emotion in relationship with staff.
See

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good evening, Dr. Kim!

This is the second essay that I am checking from you today. You are really consistent and dedicated to your work. I salute you for these.

Actually, I am lucky to be sick over the weekend. In two more days, I shall fully recover and emcee three events. I really need to be healthy during those days. I may even get the chance to meet the Philippine President on the third event. I hope he comes in flesh and not join through a video message. ^^ You know I always take your advice. I will do my best to get an executive check up soon. There is nothing to worry about (I hope). ^^

Regarding your patients, there are good days, and there are better days. These are things that you can predict but not all the time. The only guarantee that patients and clients will go and visit your is their urgency to visit you. So cross your fingers always.

About the lesson that you learned from the past leadership you had, it is true that familiarity breeds contempt. The more you know about your staff, the more disappointed you become. So drawing your border lines from them creates a more professional growth.

Thank you very much to your early submission of homework today! Tomorrow,  you shall enjoy your life and forget about your clinic. Meanwhile, your writing contains a variety of simple to complex sentences. Be cautious about your word order as well as spelling always. Excellent output, keep it up!

See you!

-T. Donna~

Hi.
>> Correct!

I've been worried about your health more and more.
>> Correct!

You are not such an old person, we just belong to fourties.
>> Correct!

Make sure you try to recover your body and see doctors soon.
>> Correct!

Money is crucial, but not as much as health.
>> Correct!

You have a good energy to be able to influence to many people.
>> Correct!

It is a special gift from God, so you have a responsiblity for that.
>> Correct!
Or: responsibility

Stay healthy and happy always.
>> Correct!

Anyway, God gave only a little patients to me this morning.
>> Anyway, God gave only a few patients to me this morning.

The profit was not bad though.
>> Correct!

I think I don't want more money and more work.
>> Correct!

Of course, I have no choice because of my debt now.
>> Correct!

When I started my clinic alone, I failed to manage my staff many times.
>> Correct!

Although I didn't mean to make a problem, whenever I listened to and sympathize a staff's word, many staff started conflicts.
>> Although I didn't mean to make a problem, whenever I listened to and sympathize to a staff's word, many staff started conflicts.

One day, five staff resigned together, when there were only seven staff worked in the clinic.
>> One day, five staff resigned together, when there were only seven staff who worked in the clinic.

It was a terrible time.
>> Correct!

After many years, I've realized that I shouldn't have shared personal emotion in relationship with staff.
>> After many years, I've realized that I shouldn't have shared personal emotional relationship with my staff.

See
>> See you.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
134779 What was the last program you watched on TV? ¼­*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-19 1709
134778 WRITING TASK: What opportunity in life do you want to accept... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-02-19 3
134777 Homework Àå*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-19 725
134776 homework 2024-02-19 ÀÌ*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2024-02-19 1
134775 Homework Àå*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-19 959
134774 How do you solve conflicts in working with others? õ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-02-19 1001
134773 Would you rather have telekinesis (the ability to move things... ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-19 0
134772 See-through ÀÓ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-02-19 1521
134771 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-02-19 2
134770 What makes you proud? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-19 0
134769 What are the benefits of having just a few close friends ? How... ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-19 1310
134768 What kind of instructors are more preferable ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-19 1593
134767 Homework ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-02-18 3
134766 What will you do if someone eavesdrops on your conversation with... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2024-02-18 885
134765 If you could be any animal (besides human), which animal would... ÃÖ*¼º ¿Ï·á 2024-02-18 1288
134764 my favorite movie °­*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2024-02-18 1354
134763 Homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2024-02-18 1322
134762 Homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2024-02-18 975
134761 Homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2024-02-18 1160
134760 What was your first impression of your spouse? Has your opinion... ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-02-18 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04