¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

9/18 homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: À±*Çö
2023-09-19 1114

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I have included in a nuclear family since I was young.
So I have never experienced the advantages and disadvantages of extended family.
I think a nuclear family is not complicated and the possibility of happening adverse events is low, because the number of family members is small.
Also, family members get enough personal space and time for refreshing.
However, sometimes family members can feel lonely in a nuclear family.
I prefer a nuclear family, but in the future I hope to live with my father, mother, my younger sister's family, and my future husband.
It will be great to live with them in a big house with good scenery.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there, Stella! Wow! You did really well in this homework. I only noted very simple matters regarding the sentences that you made. You are really doing great when it comes to improving the sentences you are making. I'm really happy because of that. As always, we will continue to have more practice again in the class. See you there! ~ T. Marie ^^
I have included in a nuclear family since I was young.
>> I have been included in a nuclerar family since I was young. 
So I have never experienced the advantages and disadvantages of extended family.
>> CORRECT SENTENCE
I think a nuclear family is not complicated and the possibility of happening adverse events is low, because the number of family members is small.
>> CORRECT SENTENCE
Also, family members get enough personal space and time for refreshing.
>> Also, family members get enough personal space and time to refresh
However, sometimes family members can feel lonely in a nuclear family.
>> CORRECT SENTENCE
I prefer a nuclear family, but in the future I hope to live with my father, mother, my younger sister's family, and my future husband.
>> CORRECT SENTENCE
It will be great to live with them in a big house with good scenery.
>> CORRECT SENTENCE
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
127002 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-03-29 1136
127001 The food that I want to recommend ¹é*¾ð ¿Ï·á 2023-03-29 2
127000 What qualities do you look for on a friend? Á¤*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-29 1216
126999 Which contry do you want to travel to? ±è*¸§ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-29 826
126998 3.29 Homework ¹Ú*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-29 754
126997 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-29 1
126996 3.29 homework ±Ç*¸² ¿Ï·á 2023-03-29 1079
126995 3/29 homework ÃÖ*º½ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-29 1118
126994 HOMEWORK FOR 03/27 Á¶*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-29 6
126993 boss ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-29 1064
126992 A handful of rest ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-29 1456
126991 Homework ¿ì*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-29 953
126990 My opinion about SNS. ÀÌ*¿õ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-29 1113
126989 To be happy Á¶*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-28 1
126988 Self actualized Á¶*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-28 1
126987 How will you offer your new products to your clients? ±¸*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-03-28 2
126986 homework 03.28 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-03-28 1065
126985 homework Á¶* ¿Ï·á 2023-03-28 1243
126984 What are your healthy ways to overcome your stress? ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2023-03-28 0
126983 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-03-28 1038

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04