¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Today\'s homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*µµ
2023-09-17 1159

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

ESSAY: Although parents are responsible for raising a child, outside influence plays a key role in their development. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

I think outside exteral component are not important for children.
Outside activity are important for growing body such as muscle, weight, and height.
But mind are not important them. it's important to connect for mindful relationship.
Of corse, i don'y say that growing body is not important for children. i just say mind is more better than body for them.
development of mind relationship between parents and child.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there Lee! Happy Monday! Thanks for doing your homework. Enjoy your Monday~!^^
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
I think outside exteral component are not important for children.
>>> I think external component are not important for children.
Outside activity are important for growing body such as muscle, weight, and height.
>>> Outdoor activities are important for enhancing body such as muscle, weight, and height.
But mind are not important them.
>>> But mental health is not important to them. 
 it's important to connect for mindful relationship.
>>>  It's important to connect to mental relationship.
Of corse, i don'y say that growing body is not important for children.
>>> Of course, I'm not saying that enhancing body is not important for children.
 i just say mind is more better than body for them.
>> I just thought that the mind is more important for them. 
development of mind relationship between parents and child.
>>> There should be mental developments between parents and children. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
129444 Homework ±è*¶õ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-11 0
129443 Which city do you want to live in and why? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-07-11 1718
129442 7/11 homework ÃÖ*º½ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-11 1737
129441 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-11 1244
129440 Do you want to be smart or beautiful? Choose one and explain. ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-07-11 0
129439 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-07-11 2566
129438 Time is money. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-07-11 1899
129437 When and where do you usually eat out? ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-11 2166
129436 How do you maintain your mental and physical health? ¹®*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-07-11 3
129435 HOMEWORK FOR THE STUDENT: What is your favorite food? Is it... ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-11 8
129434 cooking ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-11 1
129433 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-07-11 1669
129432 What are the benefits of having just a few close friends? How... ¹Ú*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-07-11 3035
129431 homework essay(2023. 7. 11.) ¼­*Àº ¿Ï·á 2023-07-11 1
129430 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-11 1771
129429 7.July.2023 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-11 1
129428 homework Àå*¼® ¿Ï·á 2023-07-11 2431
129427 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-07-11 2136
129426 Why do you think it\'s important to learn about history? ¼­*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-11 0
129425 What do you enjoy most about traveling? ¼­*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-11 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04