¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Today\'s homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*µµ
2023-09-17 1192

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

ESSAY: Although parents are responsible for raising a child, outside influence plays a key role in their development. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

I think outside exteral component are not important for children.
Outside activity are important for growing body such as muscle, weight, and height.
But mind are not important them. it's important to connect for mindful relationship.
Of corse, i don'y say that growing body is not important for children. i just say mind is more better than body for them.
development of mind relationship between parents and child.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there Lee! Happy Monday! Thanks for doing your homework. Enjoy your Monday~!^^
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
I think outside exteral component are not important for children.
>>> I think external component are not important for children.
Outside activity are important for growing body such as muscle, weight, and height.
>>> Outdoor activities are important for enhancing body such as muscle, weight, and height.
But mind are not important them.
>>> But mental health is not important to them. 
 it's important to connect for mindful relationship.
>>>  It's important to connect to mental relationship.
Of corse, i don'y say that growing body is not important for children.
>>> Of course, I'm not saying that enhancing body is not important for children.
 i just say mind is more better than body for them.
>> I just thought that the mind is more important for them. 
development of mind relationship between parents and child.
>>> There should be mental developments between parents and children. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
133687 Keeping in touch with our loved ones ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-01-05 937
133686 Filling in blanks ±è*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-01-05 904
133685 Free writing ±è*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-01-05 1247
133684 homework 01.05 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2024-01-05 1559
133683 homework ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-01-05 896
133682 What\'s one thing you\'ll do to recharge and refresh for the... ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-01-05 1
133681 What is your ideal vacation? Why? ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-05 1416
133680 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-05 0
133679 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-05 0
133678 Which one is easier, to be a follower or a leader? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-01-05 1256
133677 Do you like wearing school uniforms? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-01-05 1369
133676 My weekend Á¤*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-01-05 0
133675 homework ¼Õ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-05 1825
133674 Homework Á¤*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-05 1176
133673 Have you ever had any bad or adverse reactions to a medicine?... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2024-01-05 1066
133672 Which one is easier, to be a follower or a leader? ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-01-05 1109
133671 To a higher level ÀÓ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-01-05 741
133670 Can singing be learned or are people born with the ability to... È«*±â ¿Ï·á 2024-01-05 1409
133669 SNOW ±Ç*¸ð ¿Ï·á 2024-01-05 926
133668 homework ±è*¸° ¿Ï·á 2024-01-05 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04