¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Today\'s homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*µµ
2023-09-17 1242

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

ESSAY: Although parents are responsible for raising a child, outside influence plays a key role in their development. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

I think outside exteral component are not important for children.
Outside activity are important for growing body such as muscle, weight, and height.
But mind are not important them. it's important to connect for mindful relationship.
Of corse, i don'y say that growing body is not important for children. i just say mind is more better than body for them.
development of mind relationship between parents and child.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there Lee! Happy Monday! Thanks for doing your homework. Enjoy your Monday~!^^
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
I think outside exteral component are not important for children.
>>> I think external component are not important for children.
Outside activity are important for growing body such as muscle, weight, and height.
>>> Outdoor activities are important for enhancing body such as muscle, weight, and height.
But mind are not important them.
>>> But mental health is not important to them. 
 it's important to connect for mindful relationship.
>>>  It's important to connect to mental relationship.
Of corse, i don'y say that growing body is not important for children.
>>> Of course, I'm not saying that enhancing body is not important for children.
 i just say mind is more better than body for them.
>> I just thought that the mind is more important for them. 
development of mind relationship between parents and child.
>>> There should be mental developments between parents and children. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
134145 What are the benefits you get from using a computer? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-01-24 1352
134144 How do you express your anger at something or someone? Kindly... ±è*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-24 0
134143 essay 10 ¼Û*½Â ¿Ï·á 2024-01-24 893
134142 Do you need someone to remind you about your schedule? ±Ç*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-24 1
134141 My New Hobby ¹Ú*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-01-24 913
134140 Do you know someone who gets happy, angry, or sad when they... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2024-01-24 1402
134139 homework 2024-01-24 ÀÌ*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2024-01-24 2
134138 homework ±è*¸° ¿Ï·á 2024-01-24 1007
134137 The risk of rental ÀÓ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-01-24 1956
134136 Homework do*eun ¿Ï·á 2024-01-24 1216
134135 Where do you usually meet new people? ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-24 9
134134 When people move to another country, some of them decide to... ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-01-24 0
134133 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-01-24 818
134132 Instead of sleeping, how would you like to spend that time? ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-24 1129
134131 Homework : \\ ¼­*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-24 886
134130 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-01-23 181
134129 homework 01.23 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2024-01-23 1186
134128 Homework À±*¼± ¿Ï·á 2024-01-23 1077
134127 home work ÃÖ*¼Ø ¿Ï·á 2024-01-23 1161
134126 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-23 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04