¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Today\'s homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*µµ
2023-09-17 1263

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

ESSAY: Although parents are responsible for raising a child, outside influence plays a key role in their development. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

I think outside exteral component are not important for children.
Outside activity are important for growing body such as muscle, weight, and height.
But mind are not important them. it's important to connect for mindful relationship.
Of corse, i don'y say that growing body is not important for children. i just say mind is more better than body for them.
development of mind relationship between parents and child.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there Lee! Happy Monday! Thanks for doing your homework. Enjoy your Monday~!^^
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
I think outside exteral component are not important for children.
>>> I think external component are not important for children.
Outside activity are important for growing body such as muscle, weight, and height.
>>> Outdoor activities are important for enhancing body such as muscle, weight, and height.
But mind are not important them.
>>> But mental health is not important to them. 
 it's important to connect for mindful relationship.
>>>  It's important to connect to mental relationship.
Of corse, i don'y say that growing body is not important for children.
>>> Of course, I'm not saying that enhancing body is not important for children.
 i just say mind is more better than body for them.
>> I just thought that the mind is more important for them. 
development of mind relationship between parents and child.
>>> There should be mental developments between parents and children. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
134330 Why need education ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-01-30 0
134329 What makes you lazy? ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-01-30 1184
134328 Are there any special events that take place in summer in your... ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-30 0
134327 Think about your last trip. Write about what you learned, what... ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-01-30 2
134326 I wished.. ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-30 1266
134325 Homework Àå*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-30 1248
134324 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-30 1281
134323 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-01-30 194
134322 MBTI ¿°*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-30 8
134321 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-01-30 1707
134320 Activities for school reunions ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-01-30 1463
134319 Why are the computers important? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-01-30 1898
134318 Vacation ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-30 0
134317 Is it better to grow up in the city or in the countryside? Why... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2024-01-30 1340
134316 Letter ±Ç*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-30 2
134315 Survey ±Ç*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-30 2
134314 Letter ±Ç*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-30 1
134313 Survey ±Ç*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-30 2
134312 Homework ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2024-01-30 1582
134311 homework 2024-01-30 ÀÌ*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2024-01-30 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04