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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
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또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

How do you think you can build a trusting relationship with clients or business partners?

작성자: 송*하
2023-09-16 2018

회원님의 영작문

There is no doubt that I cannot trust a person who has just talked together once. Several reasons are trying to hesitate me concreating trust with business clients. However the biggest barrier is that I do not have any information both personally and officially as a purchasing staff. It is more understandable if I remind our department's main goal : purchase at the affordable price on materials. Various strategies are going to be set up before reaching to the appointment, but my final negotiation with my business partner just takes one second to convince and sign on the contract. In order to minimize the size of purchase, an enormous amount of information of business partner must be prepared and I should be ready for persuading the partner if I find a feature that I can reduce the cost. To prevent myself from wasting the company's investment, I have to communicate as much as I can through E-mail, Zoom, even offline appointment if I can fly to the other countries.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Thanks for this Myeong Ha! Keep them coming. :D

There is no doubt that I cannot trust a person who has just talked together once. 
>>> There is no doubt that I cannot trust a person who I talked together just once.    
Several reasons are trying to hesitate me concreating trust with business clients. 
>>> Several reasons would make me hesitate to concreting trust with business clients.     
>>> OR: There would be several reasons that will make me hesitate to concrete trust with business clients.   
However the biggest barrier is that I do not have any information both personally and officially as a purchasing staff. 
>>> correct    
It is more understandable if I remind our department's main goal : purchase at the affordable price on materials. 
>>> It is more understandable if I am reminded of our department's main goal : purchase at the affordable price on materials.     
Various strategies are going to be set up before reaching to the appointment, but my final negotiation with my business partner just takes one second to convince and sign on the contract. 
>>> correct    
In order to minimize the size of purchase, an enormous amount of information of business partner must be prepared and I should be ready for persuading the partner if I find a feature that I can reduce the cost. 
>>> OR:  In order to minimize the size of purchase, an enormous amount of information of business partner must be prepared and I should be ready for persuading the partner if I find an aspect where I can reduce the cost.    
To prevent myself from wasting the company's investment, I have to communicate as much as I can through E-mail, Zoom, even offline appointment if I can fly to the other countries.
>>>   correct     
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