¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 09.15

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2023-09-15 1203

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What are the disadvantages of doing cosmetic surgery?

These days, many people do a lot of cosmetic(plastic) surgery for their appearance or therapeutic purposes.
I think, moderate surgery is good but, excessive surgery is not good.
Because I watched many people cases of side effects from excessive surgery.
In addition, some people get mental problem because of the cosmetic surgery's side effects.
And, even if we asked responsibility to doctor, victim said that it is difficult to get compensation.
So I think, if we want cosmetic surgery, we have to carefully choice.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What are the disadvantages of doing cosmetic surgery?


These days, many people do a lot of cosmetic(plastic) surgery for their appearance or therapeutic purposes.
>> CORRECT!
I think, moderate surgery is good but, excessive surgery is not good.
>> CORRECT!
OR >> I think, moderate surgery is good but, excessive surgery isn't.
Because I watched many people cases of side effects from excessive surgery.
>> That's because I have watched many cases of people who experienced the side effects of excessive surgery.
In addition, some people get mental problem because of the cosmetic surgery's side effects.
>> In addition, some people get mental problems because of the cosmetic surgery's side effects.
And, even if we asked responsibility to doctor, victim said that it is difficult to get compensation.
>> And, even if we ask responsibility from the doctors, victims said that it is difficult to get for compensation.
So I think, if we want cosmetic surgery, we have to carefully choice.
>> So I think, if we want cosmetic surgery, we have to carefully choose.
OR >> So I think, if we want to undergo cosmetic surgery, we have to think more than twice.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
127964 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-03 786
127963 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-03 1
127962 Writing task ¾È*Çü ¿Ï·á 2023-05-03 704
127961 Homework ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-03 788
127960 The safest place ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-03 2
127959 Hw ±Ç*ÀÏ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-03 0
127958 What do you want to do today? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-03 0
127957 5/3 homework ÃÖ*º½ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-03 859
127956 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-05-03 944
127955 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-05-02 0
127954 \"Do you think talent is something you are born with or is it... ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-05-02 639
127953 What are the disadvantages and advantages to couples having no... Á¤*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-02 707
127952 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-05-02 0
127951 What birthday traditions are unique to your culture? Á¤*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-02 850
127950 2.May.223 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-02 2
127949 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-05-02 0
127948 All people should know their history. ÀÌ*¿õ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-02 2
127947 What problems do people with disabilities face in your country? ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-05-02 4
127946 May.2 ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-02 1058
127945 What is your favorite toy and why? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-05-02 816

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04