¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 09.15

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2023-09-15 657

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What are the disadvantages of doing cosmetic surgery?

These days, many people do a lot of cosmetic(plastic) surgery for their appearance or therapeutic purposes.
I think, moderate surgery is good but, excessive surgery is not good.
Because I watched many people cases of side effects from excessive surgery.
In addition, some people get mental problem because of the cosmetic surgery's side effects.
And, even if we asked responsibility to doctor, victim said that it is difficult to get compensation.
So I think, if we want cosmetic surgery, we have to carefully choice.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What are the disadvantages of doing cosmetic surgery?


These days, many people do a lot of cosmetic(plastic) surgery for their appearance or therapeutic purposes.
>> CORRECT!
I think, moderate surgery is good but, excessive surgery is not good.
>> CORRECT!
OR >> I think, moderate surgery is good but, excessive surgery isn't.
Because I watched many people cases of side effects from excessive surgery.
>> That's because I have watched many cases of people who experienced the side effects of excessive surgery.
In addition, some people get mental problem because of the cosmetic surgery's side effects.
>> In addition, some people get mental problems because of the cosmetic surgery's side effects.
And, even if we asked responsibility to doctor, victim said that it is difficult to get compensation.
>> And, even if we ask responsibility from the doctors, victims said that it is difficult to get for compensation.
So I think, if we want cosmetic surgery, we have to carefully choice.
>> So I think, if we want cosmetic surgery, we have to carefully choose.
OR >> So I think, if we want to undergo cosmetic surgery, we have to think more than twice.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
131385 231003-HOMEWORK ¾ç*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2023-10-03 1
131384 WRITING TASK: Who is always willing to help you when you go... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-10-03 3
131383 Do you think the governments should encourage public transport... ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-03 1588
131382 homwork ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-03 1
131381 Letter ±Ç*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-03 2
131380 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-10-03 611
131379 develop ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-03 814
131378 What role does continuous learning play in your personal and... Á¤*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-03 1029
131377 The Advantages of Bilingualism ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-10-02 2
131376 Homework ÀÌ*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-02 592
131375 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-10-02 660
131374 Should the government create a law banning minors from drinking... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-10-02 1
131373 homework 10.02 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-10-02 865
131372 Where do you envision yourself in terms of your career in the... ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-10-02 1105
131371 Would you rather play video games or read books all day?ᩚ ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-10-02 1049
131370 Do you like meeting new people? ÀÌ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-10-02 664
131369 Who in the world do you think possesses the greatest leadership... ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-10-02 1
131368 Homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2023-10-02 2
131367 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about ¡°The most... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-10-02 3
131366 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-02 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04