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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Homework

작성자: 김*우
2023-09-14 2020

회원님의 영작문

Hi.
How's it going today?
While it was rainy yesterday, the weather is good today.
Dr. MJ keeps his restricted behavior about the relationship between him and me.
Dr. MJ got mad about the incomplete work of staff this morning.
Since the staff made a mistake for calculating the number of patient, we didn't have enough time to eat a lunch.
Even Dr.MJ didn't have a lunch because he loss an apetite.
I was worried if Dr. MJ would express a bad emotion to me, but he kept peaceful manner to me.
Although I worked with him almost seven years, I don't understand what he thinks or does sometimes.
Today, there were not too many patients in the clinic, nevertheless, the profit is good than expected.
I hope that the revenue can make Dr.MJ happier.
I wonder if you asked me about our aesthetic procedures.
There are many laser treatment that have only a little pain.
Moreover, since we regulate the acidity of local anethesia, most of our procedures have lesser pain than other clinic's, I think.
See you.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Good evening, Dr. Kim!

Today was just smooth flowing. I received a free box of premium pizza but I just ate two pieces. Today I will begin again a different diet plan. I feel healthier and stronger. ^^

Today and the past days seem that Dr. MJ is in a Cold War and a Civil War at the same time. The Cold War is his extremely unfriendly relationship between himself and towards you and the Civil War which is the one between people in  your office. Well, this is just a metaphor to say that he has already metamorphosed into a more mature professional at work. This can yield very good results.

If Dr. MJ's point is to upscale the revenue, then he needs to level up the happiness of the clinic staff so that they can serve with commitment and passion.

Yes, I actually asked about you procedures in your clinic. As we all know it, a medical procedure may cause pain during and after it was performed. Some are less severe than the others depending on the treatment. Hence, you got it right.

Then, please pay attention to the underlined grammar suggestions make here on your homework. You can combine many kinds of sentences and maintain clarity in meaning. Excellent execution!

See you soon.

-T. Donna~ 

Hi.
>> Correct!

How's it going today?
>> Correct!

While it was rainy yesterday, the weather is good today.
>> Correct!

Dr. MJ keeps his restricted behavior about the relationship between him and me.
>> Correct!

Dr. MJ got mad about the incomplete work of staff this morning.
>> Correct!

Since the staff made a mistake for calculating the number of patient, we didn't have enough time to eat a lunch.
>> Since the staff made a mistake in calculating the number of patients, we didn't have enough time to eat lunch.

Even Dr.MJ didn't have a lunch because he loss an apetite.
>> Even Dr.MJ didn't have a lunch because he lost appetite.

I was worried if Dr. MJ would express a bad emotion to me, but he kept peaceful manner to me.
>> I was worried if Dr. MJ would express a bad emotion to me, but he kept a peaceful manner.

Although I worked with him almost seven years, I don't understand what he thinks or does sometimes.
>> Correct!

Today, there were not too many patients in the clinic, nevertheless, the profit is good than expected.
>> Today, there were not too many patients in the clinic, nevertheless, the profit is better than expected.

I hope that the revenue can make Dr.MJ happier.
>> Correct!

I wonder if you asked me about our aesthetic procedures.
>> Correct!

There are many laser treatment that have only a little pain.
>> Correct!

Moreover, since we regulate the acidity of local anethesia, most of our procedures have lesser pain than other clinic's, I think.
>> Correct!
or: anesthesia

See you.
>> Correct!
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