¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

How to help them

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¼º*°æ
2023-09-13 1345

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Umm,,,i¡¯m sorry to hear that story. The most necessary thing for them is money. The most common way to earn money is working but there are no person who work extra hours. So i think to raise the money for them is the best way to help them. I as normal person don¡¯t have a lot of money to help them. But if people like me gather and donate to them a mall amount money, they can stand their feet on.

There is saying that don¡¯t give starving man fish instead teach how to catch a fish. Even though donating money for them is important, we have to teach how to earn money from work.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Your opinions were expressed well, Jun! I also believe that when helping, we should help wisely and practically.
-Faith-
Umm,,,i¡¯m sorry to hear that story. 
>> I feel sorry to hear that story. 
The most necessary thing for them is money. 
>> CORRECT
The most common way to earn money is working but there are no person who work extra hours. So i think to raise the money for them is the best way to help them. 
>> The most common way to earn money is by working, but there are no people who work extra hours, so raising money for them is the best way to help them. 
I as normal person don¡¯t have a lot of money to help them. But if people like me gather and donate to them a mall amount money, they can stand their feet on.
>> I, as a normal person, do not have a lot of money to help them, but if people like me gather a small amount of money to donate to them, they can get back on their feet.
There is saying that don¡¯t give starving man fish instead teach how to catch a fish. 
>> There is a saying that we should not give a starving man fish, instead teach them how to catch fish. 
Even though donating money for them is important, we have to teach how to earn money from work.
>> Even though donating money to them is important, we have to teach them how to earn money from work.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
127452 Homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-04-13 5
127451 HOMRWORK ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-04-13 1
127450 HOMRWORK ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-04-13 1
127449 Homework for 04/13 ¹æ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-13 4
127448 Please write something about the question below: 1. What do you... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-04-13 0
127447 Hw ÃÖ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-04-13 0
127446 What is your favorite fruit? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-04-13 1180
127445 What\'s your thought on people who spend a lot of money on... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-04-13 4
127444 Hw ÃÖ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-13 0
127443 homework ½Å*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-04-13 0
127442 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-13 713
127441 Writing task ¾È*Çü ¿Ï·á 2023-04-13 784
127440 Q. How much money in the bank can make you feel stable? Share... ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-04-13 4
127439 Homework ÇÏ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2023-04-13 3
127438 What\'s the best Christmas you\'ve ever had? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-04-13 944
127437 homework ÀÌ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-04-13 621
127436 The big event which made me change ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-13 989
127435 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2023-04-13 0
127434 Essay homework (04/13) ÃÖ*Çå ¿Ï·á 2023-04-13 760
127433 Why is English used in so many places? õ*¶õ ¿Ï·á 2023-04-13 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04