¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

How to help them

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¼º*°æ
2023-09-13 1228

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Umm,,,i¡¯m sorry to hear that story. The most necessary thing for them is money. The most common way to earn money is working but there are no person who work extra hours. So i think to raise the money for them is the best way to help them. I as normal person don¡¯t have a lot of money to help them. But if people like me gather and donate to them a mall amount money, they can stand their feet on.

There is saying that don¡¯t give starving man fish instead teach how to catch a fish. Even though donating money for them is important, we have to teach how to earn money from work.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Your opinions were expressed well, Jun! I also believe that when helping, we should help wisely and practically.
-Faith-
Umm,,,i¡¯m sorry to hear that story. 
>> I feel sorry to hear that story. 
The most necessary thing for them is money. 
>> CORRECT
The most common way to earn money is working but there are no person who work extra hours. So i think to raise the money for them is the best way to help them. 
>> The most common way to earn money is by working, but there are no people who work extra hours, so raising money for them is the best way to help them. 
I as normal person don¡¯t have a lot of money to help them. But if people like me gather and donate to them a mall amount money, they can stand their feet on.
>> I, as a normal person, do not have a lot of money to help them, but if people like me gather a small amount of money to donate to them, they can get back on their feet.
There is saying that don¡¯t give starving man fish instead teach how to catch a fish. 
>> There is a saying that we should not give a starving man fish, instead teach them how to catch fish. 
Even though donating money for them is important, we have to teach how to earn money from work.
>> Even though donating money to them is important, we have to teach them how to earn money from work.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
128840 Writing task ¾È*Çü ¿Ï·á 2023-06-14 2038
128839 Why do most people these days prefer online shopping? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-06-14 2
128838 Myhomework Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2023-06-14 1099
128837 How do you make new friends ? Is it easy or hard for you? ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-06-14 1083
128836 Myhomework Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2023-06-14 532
128835 Diffrence between talent and skill ÀÌ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-06-14 748
128834 What is the most popular sport in your country? Á¶*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-14 904
128833 What do I think to eat convenient store lunch boxes for lunch? ±è*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-14 776
128832 In my diary! ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-06-14 1088
128831 What will you do today? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-14 0
128830 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-14 1035
128829 How do shared interests foster connections between people? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-06-14 2
128828 Do you normally go to one doctor in particular or any available... ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2023-06-14 1101
128827 Hello~ ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-13 3
128826 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-13 767
128825 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-06-13 0
128824 Home work Á¶* ¿Ï·á 2023-06-13 1387
128823 homework 06.13 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-06-13 1017
128822 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-06-13 0
128821 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-06-13 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04