¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Why do some people panic in a situation when other people remain calm?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*¹Î
2023-09-12 1999

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

When Everyone have some surprised situations, Some people can¡¯t hide their face. Just they open their things and feelings.
That¡¯s not fault. Just Maybe that is weak point about outside and playing social community.
If they get unjust things in their any situation, they can¡¯t hide their feelings. So that making situation is more bad for own.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Su,

You've touched upon an interesting topic about why some people become anxious in certain situations while others stay calm. Your explanation is straightforward, and you've made some valid points. Keep practicing, and your writing will improve even more!

~Teacher Cathy

 

When Everyone have some surprised situations, Some people can¡¯t hide their face.

>>When people encounter some surprising situations, some can¡¯t hide their expressions.

Just they open their things and feelings.

>>They just open up about their things and feelings.

 That¡¯s not fault.

>>That¡¯s not their fault.
Just Maybe that is weak point about outside and playing social community.

>>Perhaps that is a vulnerability when it comes to interacting with the outside world and engaging in social communities.

If they get unjust things in their any situation, they can¡¯t hide their feelings.

>>If they get unjust things in any of their situations, they can¡¯t hide their feelings.

So that making situation is more bad for own.

>>This can make the situation worse for themselves

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
130730 WRITING TASK: What can you do for your mother? ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-09-04 4
130729 Today\'s homework ÀÌ*µµ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-04 1952
130728 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-04 2612
130727 Avoiding and choosing the group ÃÖ*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-04 1837
130726 Would you rather live in a house or an apartment? ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-04 2182
130725 What do you do when you hear your name pop up in other people¡¯s... ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-09-04 3314
130724 How many hours do you spend reading in a week? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-04 0
130723 ESSAY ±Ç*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-04 2
130722 Did you have any interactions with the attendees that stood out... ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-09-04 1
130721 9/1 homework À±*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-09-04 1878
130720 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-09-04 1729
130719 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-09-03 2908
130718 homwork Àå*¼® ¿Ï·á 2023-09-03 2042
130717 homework-230901 ¾ç*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2023-09-03 1
130716 How do you choose where to go? Are you inspired by other... Á¶*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-09-03 0
130715 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-03 3
130714 Promoting ¼º*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-03 2392
130713 Hi, Diviana °­*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-03 1
130712 homwork Á¶*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-03 1921
130711 homwork Á¶*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-03 2064

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04