¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Why do some people panic in a situation when other people remain calm?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*¹Î
2023-09-12 672

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

When Everyone have some surprised situations, Some people can¡¯t hide their face. Just they open their things and feelings.
That¡¯s not fault. Just Maybe that is weak point about outside and playing social community.
If they get unjust things in their any situation, they can¡¯t hide their feelings. So that making situation is more bad for own.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Su,

You've touched upon an interesting topic about why some people become anxious in certain situations while others stay calm. Your explanation is straightforward, and you've made some valid points. Keep practicing, and your writing will improve even more!

~Teacher Cathy

 

When Everyone have some surprised situations, Some people can¡¯t hide their face.

>>When people encounter some surprising situations, some can¡¯t hide their expressions.

Just they open their things and feelings.

>>They just open up about their things and feelings.

 That¡¯s not fault.

>>That¡¯s not their fault.
Just Maybe that is weak point about outside and playing social community.

>>Perhaps that is a vulnerability when it comes to interacting with the outside world and engaging in social communities.

If they get unjust things in their any situation, they can¡¯t hide their feelings.

>>If they get unjust things in any of their situations, they can¡¯t hide their feelings.

So that making situation is more bad for own.

>>This can make the situation worse for themselves

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
131230 mandatory ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-22 526
131229 ESSAY ±Ç*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-22 1
131228 HOMEWORK ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-09-22 617
131227 HOMEWORK ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-09-22 300
131226 How does climate change impact water supply and demand? ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-09-22 1
131225 homwork ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-22 2
131224 How do you think excessive absences and tardiness affect an... ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-09-22 0
131223 why we anticipate weekends °­*À² ¿Ï·á 2023-09-22 2
131222 homework °í*ö ¿Ï·á 2023-09-21 570
131221 Major ÃÖ*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-21 666
131220 homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2023-09-21 1152
131219 Write about your hometown and explain why it\'s a good place to... ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-21 1
131218 homework 09.21 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-09-21 737
131217 What is more important to you? Social issues or environmental... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-09-21 1
131216 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-21 3
131215 today\'s homework ÀÌ*µµ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-21 347
131214 What do you think future wars will be fought over? À¯* ¿Ï·á 2023-09-21 504
131213 How can you adapt the everyday things you do to increase your... À¯* ¿Ï·á 2023-09-21 410
131212 HOMEWOrK ±è* ¿Ï·á 2023-09-21 0
131211 If a group of people just came to your country from overseas,... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-09-21 335

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04