무료 레벨테스트 받고 강사평가 남기면 1,OOO원 쿠폰 즉시 적립!

혹시 사이트에선 찾지 못한 궁금한 점이 있으세요?
남겨주신 이메일을 통해 답변 드리겠습니다.

문의하신 내용이 문자로 발송되오니
연락처를 남겨주세요.
업무시간 월~금 오전9시~오후6시
(점심시간 낮12시~오후1시)

영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

what are your thoughts on teen celebrities promoting luxury brands?

작성자: 손*림
2023-09-10 2018

회원님의 영작문



First, i wrote it for Korean and then i used Papago to translate.. so it can be a little strangeTT so.. please save my essay.. lol..

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Thank you for your homework, Hanah!

Keep going and never stop!

-Hanna ^^


As the title suggests, it is often seen that teenage idols like Ive and New Gins are advertising luxury brands these days. 

>>As the title suggests, it is often seen that teenage idols like "Ive" and "New Gins" are promoting luxury brands these days.

As the news and articles report, as advertising models are our age, there is a negative aspect that teenagers are finding it too easy to buy expensive luxury goods. 

>>As reported in news articles and advertisements, when individuals of our age serve as models, there is a negative aspect: teenagers are often tempted to purchase expensive luxury goods too easily.

Many parents often complain about children asking for luxury brand advertisements.

>>Many parents often complain about children asking for luxury brand products from the advertisements.

Advertisers can also see this phenomenon, making teenagers want to buy more luxury goods.

>>Correct!

Of course, advertising with very expensive clothes and necklaces by one's peers can cause a desire to buy and be an object of envy.

>>Correct!

However, I don't think it is desirable to prevent teenage idols from advertising luxury brands.

>>Correct!

Just because you put forward this argument doesn't mean you won't be interested in it because it doesn't mean that you don't want to pay attention.

>>Just because you present this argument doesn't mean you're not interested in it or that you don't want to pay attention.

Therefore, I think proper education at home is a priority.

>>Correct!

Most teenagers who buy luxury goods don't make money and don't know how hard it is to make money. 

>>Correct!

Therefore, I think families should develop an economic idea about consumption. 

>>Correct!

Also, when you decide to buy a luxury brand because your child wants it so much, you should not buy it right away and make efforts to keep some promises before you buy a luxury brand. 

>>Also, when you decide to purchase a luxury brand because your child desires it greatly, it's advisable not to buy it immediately and instead make an effort to fulfill certain commitments before going in a luxury shopping.

I don't think it's desirable to think that our children will want to buy it because a teenage idol advertises recklessly.

>> I don't think it's desirable to think that our children will want to make purchases simply because a teenage idol promotes them excessively.

Therefore, my opinion is that I hope that this controversy itself will be eliminated as appropriate education is provided at home. 

>>Correct!

Thank you for listening my speech.

>>Thank you for listening to my speech.

First, i wrote it for Korean and then i used Papago to translate.. so it can be a little strangeTT 

>>I wrote it first in Korean then I used Papago to translate it so it can be a little strange.

so.. please save my essay.. lol..

>>So please help me with my essay.
번호 제목 글쓴이 공개 상태 등록일 조회수
135404 homework 이*숙 완료 2024-03-11 1396
135403 Do you think teachers should be strict sometimes? 송*우 완료 2024-03-11 1798
135402 Should we always do our best in everything that we do? 이*윤 완료 2024-03-11 1220
135401 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about \"Would you... 앨* 완료 2024-03-11 3
135400 How does facing and overcoming fears help people grow as... 에*미 완료 2024-03-11 1
135399 homework 정*호 완료 2024-03-11 0
135398 What stories have you read or heard recently about the... 박*은 완료 2024-03-11 1454
135397 Homework 권*윤 완료 2024-03-11 1
135396 What is your all-time favorite dish, and why? 박*은 완료 2024-03-11 1588
135395 Homework 류*우 완료 2024-03-11 1499
135394 A million dollars 박*율 완료 2024-03-11 923
135393 Homework 윤*선 완료 2024-03-11 1547
135392 My Three Thing To Achieve 박*율 완료 2024-03-11 1619
135391 >> How does the weather affect your mood? 이*민 완료 2024-03-11 1253
135390 >> What are your thoughts on your school class schedule? 이*민 완료 2024-03-11 0
135389 What musical insterments do you play? 박*현 완료 2024-03-11 1435
135388 HOMEWORK 박*은 완료 2024-03-11 1
135387 How do you feel if you forget your mobile phone and leave it... 박*호 완료 2024-03-11 1811
135386 pregnancy 민*정 완료 2024-03-11 1
135385 What are the things you provide for your loved ones? 권*임 완료 2024-03-11 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[마이페이지 > 수업 내용 보기 > 학습 캘린더 > 영작교정 버튼 클릭]

수업 횟수만큼 영작교정 게시판이 생성되며,
지난 날짜에도 게시 할 수 있습니다.

주5회 수업 : 월 20회 이용 가능
주3회 수업 : 월 12회 이용 가능
주2회 수업 : 월 08회 이용 가능
01
교정 내용은 최대 1,000byte까지 올릴 수 있습니다.

첨부 파일은 원활한 첨삭을 위한 참고자료로 사용될 뿐,
파일에 대한 첨삭은 불가능 합니다.

업로드 가능한 첨부 파일은 최대 2mb까지이며,
첨부 할 수 있는 파일 형식은 다음과 같습니다.

문서 - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
이미지 - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
하루 게시 가능한 글은 3회까지 이며,
종료된 수업의 영작교정 게시판은
이용이 어려운 점 양해 부탁 드립니다.
04

와이즈에듀케이션아이(주) 사이트명: 파워잉글리쉬 대표이사 전상현
사업자등록번호: 217-81-44736 통신판매신고번호: 2014-서울도봉-0233호
서울본사: 서울시 노원구 한글비석로 245 두타빌 B동 7층 713호
대표번호 1688-8672 개인정보관리 책임자: 안희영 [powerenglish@pweng.net]