¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2023-09-07 721

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Hi.
Actually, I am really worried about your health.
You have many symptoms which can be related diseases.
As we know, early diagnosis is most important in severe diseases.
I lost my closest friend this year and I heard that many people died in spite of young ages these days.
Without health, you can't enjoy your life when you achive a success.
Make sure you should take a check-up soon.
Meanwhile there is nothing special at the clinic.
I felt that Dr.MJ tried to open his mind to me slowly.
Dr. MJ is a man just like a rage tank, so he can't turn his mind easily, I know.
All I need to do is just waiting with a big warm heart.
Lately, the profit is increasing, I guess.
Oh, I have an excellent news.
I plan to go to a concert with my brother this Saturday.
Although I will be so tired, we will have a great time.
Regarding my homework, Abolition of the Ministry of Female and Family, and restriction of media about praising solo life and divorce are needed.
What do you think of it?
See you.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Happy Friday, Dr. Kim!

Apologies to make you worried about my health. It is a shame that you seem more worried than me. Over time, I stayed independent and I manage my life so others would not worry about me. I agree that worrying about myself is important too however, according to your homework answer, this may be praising my solo life. ^^ Kidding aside, I will see the doctor on my free time.

Meanwhile, I guess if there is nothing special in your clinic, Dr. MJ is always an interesting person who always spices things up. He has the power to affect your  clinic's mood for the entire day.

So, I wish you and your brother a spectacular time together. I think it is really sweet to spend time with your sibling. Sometimes, I can stand being with all of my four sisters but being with one is challenging. Sing your hearts out and have a magnificent musical vibe tomorrow night. 

Lastly, I am not quite certain about the case of your country regarding solo life and having no children. I am aware however of the financial  constraints brought about raising children. For me, it will look bad in the future if the young people of South Korea will be obliged to take care of the aging population since it will be very taxing in their part. In addition, it will take a big toll on your economy.

Some of my grammar suggestions are about grammar tense, capitalization, among others. Kindly take time to review them. Thank you for your consistency and language strength!

Free your mind, relax, and enjoy your brother's company along with the concert music. Live in the moment.

See you later.

-T. Donna~

Hi.
>> Correct!

Actually, I am really worried about your health.
>> Correct!

You have many symptoms which can be related diseases.
>> Correct!

As we know, early diagnosis is most important in severe diseases.
>> Correct!

I lost my closest friend this year and I heard that many people died in spite of young ages these days.
>>  I lost my closest friend this year and I heard that many people die in spite of young ages these days.

Without health, you can't enjoy your life when you achive a success.
>> Without health, you can't enjoy your life when you achieve success.

Make sure you should take a check-up soon.
>> Make sure to take a check-up soon.

Meanwhile there is nothing special at the clinic.
>> Correct!

I felt that Dr.MJ tried to open his mind to me slowly.
>> Correct!

Dr. MJ is a man just like a rage tank, so he can't turn his mind easily, I know.
>> Correct! Very good sentence!

All I need to do is just waiting with a big warm heart.
>> All I need to do is just to wait with a big warm heart.

Lately, the profit is increasing, I guess.
>> Correct!

Oh, I have an excellent news.
>> Correct!

I plan to go to a concert with my brother this Saturday.
>> Correct!

Although I will be so tired, we will have a great time.
>> Correct!

Regarding my homework, Abolition of the Ministry of Female and Family, and restriction of media about praising solo life and divorce are needed.
>> Correct!
Or: Regarding my homework, abolition of the Ministry of Female and Family, and restriction of media about praising solo life and divorce are needed.

What do you think of it?
>> Correct!

See you.
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
128805 Do you like celebrating your birthday? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-13 308
128804 homework ½Å*ÈÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-13 1135
128803 Myhomework Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2023-06-12 830
128802 Home work Á¶* ¿Ï·á 2023-06-12 558
128801 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-06-12 0
128800 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-06-12 0
128799 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-06-12 1981
128798 homework 06.12 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-06-12 515
128797 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-06-12 272
128796 How many hours of sleep do you have every day? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-06-12 255
128795 The most interesting outdoor activity for me ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-06-12 382
128794 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-12 1
128793 What types of diets have you heard of? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-12 548
128792 How should someone who committed a crime for some good cause be... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-12 402
128791 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-06-12 369
128790 diary ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-12 0
128789 Studying Engish ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-12 1
128788 Bad Experience in first impression ¼º*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-12 1
128787 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-12 255
128786 Writing task ¾È*Çü ¿Ï·á 2023-06-12 294

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04