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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Homework

작성자: 김*우
2023-09-07 900

회원님의 영작문

Hi.
Actually, I am really worried about your health.
You have many symptoms which can be related diseases.
As we know, early diagnosis is most important in severe diseases.
I lost my closest friend this year and I heard that many people died in spite of young ages these days.
Without health, you can't enjoy your life when you achive a success.
Make sure you should take a check-up soon.
Meanwhile there is nothing special at the clinic.
I felt that Dr.MJ tried to open his mind to me slowly.
Dr. MJ is a man just like a rage tank, so he can't turn his mind easily, I know.
All I need to do is just waiting with a big warm heart.
Lately, the profit is increasing, I guess.
Oh, I have an excellent news.
I plan to go to a concert with my brother this Saturday.
Although I will be so tired, we will have a great time.
Regarding my homework, Abolition of the Ministry of Female and Family, and restriction of media about praising solo life and divorce are needed.
What do you think of it?
See you.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Happy Friday, Dr. Kim!

Apologies to make you worried about my health. It is a shame that you seem more worried than me. Over time, I stayed independent and I manage my life so others would not worry about me. I agree that worrying about myself is important too however, according to your homework answer, this may be praising my solo life. ^^ Kidding aside, I will see the doctor on my free time.

Meanwhile, I guess if there is nothing special in your clinic, Dr. MJ is always an interesting person who always spices things up. He has the power to affect your  clinic's mood for the entire day.

So, I wish you and your brother a spectacular time together. I think it is really sweet to spend time with your sibling. Sometimes, I can stand being with all of my four sisters but being with one is challenging. Sing your hearts out and have a magnificent musical vibe tomorrow night. 

Lastly, I am not quite certain about the case of your country regarding solo life and having no children. I am aware however of the financial  constraints brought about raising children. For me, it will look bad in the future if the young people of South Korea will be obliged to take care of the aging population since it will be very taxing in their part. In addition, it will take a big toll on your economy.

Some of my grammar suggestions are about grammar tense, capitalization, among others. Kindly take time to review them. Thank you for your consistency and language strength!

Free your mind, relax, and enjoy your brother's company along with the concert music. Live in the moment.

See you later.

-T. Donna~

Hi.
>> Correct!

Actually, I am really worried about your health.
>> Correct!

You have many symptoms which can be related diseases.
>> Correct!

As we know, early diagnosis is most important in severe diseases.
>> Correct!

I lost my closest friend this year and I heard that many people died in spite of young ages these days.
>>  I lost my closest friend this year and I heard that many people die in spite of young ages these days.

Without health, you can't enjoy your life when you achive a success.
>> Without health, you can't enjoy your life when you achieve success.

Make sure you should take a check-up soon.
>> Make sure to take a check-up soon.

Meanwhile there is nothing special at the clinic.
>> Correct!

I felt that Dr.MJ tried to open his mind to me slowly.
>> Correct!

Dr. MJ is a man just like a rage tank, so he can't turn his mind easily, I know.
>> Correct! Very good sentence!

All I need to do is just waiting with a big warm heart.
>> All I need to do is just to wait with a big warm heart.

Lately, the profit is increasing, I guess.
>> Correct!

Oh, I have an excellent news.
>> Correct!

I plan to go to a concert with my brother this Saturday.
>> Correct!

Although I will be so tired, we will have a great time.
>> Correct!

Regarding my homework, Abolition of the Ministry of Female and Family, and restriction of media about praising solo life and divorce are needed.
>> Correct!
Or: Regarding my homework, abolition of the Ministry of Female and Family, and restriction of media about praising solo life and divorce are needed.

What do you think of it?
>> Correct!

See you.
>> Correct!
번호 제목 글쓴이 공개 상태 등록일 조회수
130795 homwork 박*준 완료 2023-09-06 1
130794 Homework 김*우 완료 2023-09-06 1817
130793 Homework 고*철 완료 2023-09-05 1329
130792 Home work 김*님 완료 2023-09-05 1232
130791 Visitinf 성*경 완료 2023-09-05 985
130790 The best way to revenge 최*환 완료 2023-09-05 1880
130789 Home work 김*란 완료 2023-09-05 1
130788 homework 안*연 완료 2023-09-05 1414
130787 homework 09.05 최*� 완료 2023-09-05 1388
130786 Would you rather be able to teleport or read minds? 송*우 완료 2023-09-05 1697
130785 Homework 김*서 완료 2023-09-05 9
130784 What thing will you always carry in your bag? 박*현 완료 2023-09-05 1057
130783 What risks are you willing to take to reach your dreams? 박*우 완료 2023-09-05 1083
130782 Homework 김*숙 완료 2023-09-05 1721
130781 Why are some people more intelligent than others? 에*미 완료 2023-09-05 5
130780 Where do you prefer living in, the city or the countryside, why? 조*민 완료 2023-09-05 2
130779 How do you handle conflicts or disagreements within your... 조*민 완료 2023-09-05 1
130778 What are the good and bad things about traveling? 신*섭 완료 2023-09-05 1057
130777 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about \"What I want to... 앨* 완료 2023-09-05 2
130776 Homework- 230905 PART1 양*애 완료 2023-09-05 3

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[마이페이지 > 수업 내용 보기 > 학습 캘린더 > 영작교정 버튼 클릭]

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01
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02
전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
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종료된 수업의 영작교정 게시판은
이용이 어려운 점 양해 부탁 드립니다.
04

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