¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2023-09-07 1504

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Hi.
Actually, I am really worried about your health.
You have many symptoms which can be related diseases.
As we know, early diagnosis is most important in severe diseases.
I lost my closest friend this year and I heard that many people died in spite of young ages these days.
Without health, you can't enjoy your life when you achive a success.
Make sure you should take a check-up soon.
Meanwhile there is nothing special at the clinic.
I felt that Dr.MJ tried to open his mind to me slowly.
Dr. MJ is a man just like a rage tank, so he can't turn his mind easily, I know.
All I need to do is just waiting with a big warm heart.
Lately, the profit is increasing, I guess.
Oh, I have an excellent news.
I plan to go to a concert with my brother this Saturday.
Although I will be so tired, we will have a great time.
Regarding my homework, Abolition of the Ministry of Female and Family, and restriction of media about praising solo life and divorce are needed.
What do you think of it?
See you.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Happy Friday, Dr. Kim!

Apologies to make you worried about my health. It is a shame that you seem more worried than me. Over time, I stayed independent and I manage my life so others would not worry about me. I agree that worrying about myself is important too however, according to your homework answer, this may be praising my solo life. ^^ Kidding aside, I will see the doctor on my free time.

Meanwhile, I guess if there is nothing special in your clinic, Dr. MJ is always an interesting person who always spices things up. He has the power to affect your  clinic's mood for the entire day.

So, I wish you and your brother a spectacular time together. I think it is really sweet to spend time with your sibling. Sometimes, I can stand being with all of my four sisters but being with one is challenging. Sing your hearts out and have a magnificent musical vibe tomorrow night. 

Lastly, I am not quite certain about the case of your country regarding solo life and having no children. I am aware however of the financial  constraints brought about raising children. For me, it will look bad in the future if the young people of South Korea will be obliged to take care of the aging population since it will be very taxing in their part. In addition, it will take a big toll on your economy.

Some of my grammar suggestions are about grammar tense, capitalization, among others. Kindly take time to review them. Thank you for your consistency and language strength!

Free your mind, relax, and enjoy your brother's company along with the concert music. Live in the moment.

See you later.

-T. Donna~

Hi.
>> Correct!

Actually, I am really worried about your health.
>> Correct!

You have many symptoms which can be related diseases.
>> Correct!

As we know, early diagnosis is most important in severe diseases.
>> Correct!

I lost my closest friend this year and I heard that many people died in spite of young ages these days.
>>  I lost my closest friend this year and I heard that many people die in spite of young ages these days.

Without health, you can't enjoy your life when you achive a success.
>> Without health, you can't enjoy your life when you achieve success.

Make sure you should take a check-up soon.
>> Make sure to take a check-up soon.

Meanwhile there is nothing special at the clinic.
>> Correct!

I felt that Dr.MJ tried to open his mind to me slowly.
>> Correct!

Dr. MJ is a man just like a rage tank, so he can't turn his mind easily, I know.
>> Correct! Very good sentence!

All I need to do is just waiting with a big warm heart.
>> All I need to do is just to wait with a big warm heart.

Lately, the profit is increasing, I guess.
>> Correct!

Oh, I have an excellent news.
>> Correct!

I plan to go to a concert with my brother this Saturday.
>> Correct!

Although I will be so tired, we will have a great time.
>> Correct!

Regarding my homework, Abolition of the Ministry of Female and Family, and restriction of media about praising solo life and divorce are needed.
>> Correct!
Or: Regarding my homework, abolition of the Ministry of Female and Family, and restriction of media about praising solo life and divorce are needed.

What do you think of it?
>> Correct!

See you.
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
138086 The influence of influncers ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-26 1285
138085 HOMEWORK Á¤*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-26 1213
138084 Page 64 ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-06-26 1
138083 The best way to make the road transport of goods safer is to ask... ÀÌ*´Ã ¿Ï·á 2024-06-25 1202
138082 Homework ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-25 1
138081 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-25 1015
138080 Do you think buffet restaurants are worth their price? Why or... Çö* ¿Ï·á 2024-06-25 1272
138079 Household duties ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-06-25 1370
138078 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-25 3
138077 Homework ³ª*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2024-06-25 0
138076 What kind of movies do you like watching at a movie theater? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-25 1229
138075 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-06-25 0
138074 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-06-25 0
138073 purchases ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-25 0
138072 What fruit or fruits that aren\'t available in Korea would you... Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-25 1233
138071 What are the things you enjoy most? Write at least two and... Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-06-25 1189
138070 junk food ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-25 2
138069 How do you avoid arguments? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-25 1238
138068 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-06-25 0
138067 What do you think is the worst toy ever created for children?... ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-25 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04