¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Today\'s homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*µµ
2023-09-06 539

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

ESSAY: Although parents are responsible for raising a child, outside influence plays a key role in their development. To what extent do you agree or disagree

factor of outside impacts children's growing. But the most important thing i think is the attention of parents.
parent's expression gives mant impact they children. they must not release there feeling to children.
if they are swayed by emotions, children can't choose right action and he or she can't grow social relationship.
children's relationship affect their life. people who don't give education may become criminal.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Lee! How are you? Well, today is a special day because it's my birthday. Hahaha! I don't have any plans yet. Talk to you tomorrow. Take care!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA 
factor of outside impacts children's growing. 
>>> Children's development is impacted by external factors.
But the most important thing i think is the attention of parents.
>>> However, the most important thing is the parents' attention. 
parent's expression gives mant impact they children.
>>> The way parents act has a big impact on their children. 
 they must not release there feeling to children.
>>> They should not be so emotional in front of their children.
if they are swayed by emotions, children can't choose right action and he or she can't grow social relationship.
>>> Children cannot make moral decisions or develop healthy social relationships if they are influenced by their parents' emotions.
children's relationship affect their life. 
>>> Children's social relationship can affect their lives. 
people who don't give education may become criminal.
>>> Parents who don't educate their children well may turn to criminals someday.  
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
128968 6/20 Wiriting Task ÀÌ*Àç ¿Ï·á 2023-06-21 597
128967 Writing task ¾È*Çü ¿Ï·á 2023-06-21 563
128966 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-21 275
128965 What three adjectives best describe your personality? ÀÌ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-06-21 392
128964 Homework È«*¼± ¿Ï·á 2023-06-21 1
128963 Have you ever been influenced to do or not do something because... ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-06-21 350
128962 Do you think that using social media to prevent dementia can... ÀÌ*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-20 318
128961 Myhomework Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2023-06-20 394
128960 My family gatheribg ÃÖ*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-20 280
128959 What are your thoughts about the use of solar power? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-06-20 1
128958 homework 06.20 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-06-20 203
128957 My favorite teacher ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-06-20 185
128956 If you were the head of the Ministry of Food and Drug Safety,... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-06-20 6
128955 What vegetable do you like the most and why? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-06-20 310
128954 My dream life abroad ±è*¸² ¿Ï·á 2023-06-20 301
128953 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-20 305
128952 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-06-20 159
128951 Homework 6/19 ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-20 1
128950 homework ¾È*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-20 300
128949 How important is tourism to your country? What is eco-tourism?... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-06-20 480

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04